Hi Dave, I asked this question in another thread (another new knowflake), but didn't really get an answer. I have bipolar disorder and I was wondering if anything in my chart indicated this. I know that Cancerians are moody by nature, but this is more than your typical moodiness. I have extreme problems in all areas of relationships and have been living the life of a hermit, isolating myself from everyone due to the shame I feel. Is there anything in my chart that shows this? Is there anyway that astrology can help me in this area? My birth info is July 18, 1956 3:10 AM Harrisburg PA USA Many Thanks, MoonLadyC

Moonlady,

I will have to get back to you tomorrow - I am wiped out at the moment!

Thanks

Dave

No Problem Dave, I know the feeling! MoonLadyC

Along those lines, Dave, I was wondering:

If both Saturn and Leo are in the 12th house, I heard this can be contributed to mental illness or depression.

thoughts?

thanks,

Nadir

MoonladyC,

I have finally had some time to do a quick look at your chart. I want to emphasize I know very little about medical astrology - the best source is the material by Ingrid Naiman, and that I can only take a quick look at what I can see in terms of your wanting to be a hermit.

Your Venus is in your 12th house, giving it a real sense of isolation - and that since it is trine Neptune, it is your place of escape - you have a desire to live in that world - it feels comfortable. And because your Moon is conjunct your node in Sag - it is definitely karmic in nature.

The nature of your question indicates to me that you want to get out of your isolation, which is good - and the timing is good that you want to, for in about 3-5 years, Pluto will be opposing your Venus and at that point you will have no choice. Jupiter in 2001 will conjunct your Venus, and a few years later Saturn will conjunct it (the 21st century ephemeris is out of print right now or otherwise I'd give more definitive dates.

I am sure Ingrid Naiman has a web site - you might want to do a search on one of the engines to look for it - I met her many years ago and she is the expert in this field, and I am sure that she may be able to assist you in healing yourself.

Dave

Thank you very much Dave, I'll try to find her. Oh, and can you please explain what you meant when you said I'll have no choice? No choice but to stay in my isolation or no choice but to get out? MoonLadyC

Dave~ FYI, her site is www.astroheal.com I emailed her, I'll let you know what happens. Thanks again, MoonLadyC

MoonladyC,

Thanks for finding the site. I'm sure Ingrid can help you.

What I meant about having no choice is that when Pluto opposes Venus you will have to deal with it whether you want to or not. By starting way ahead of time, when it happens the effects will be much better. And it looks like you want to get out of it.

Dave

Moonlady C,

Hi! Do you still live in PA? I'm near Pittsburgh, & my Brother lives in Lancaster.

I've been curious about Astrology & mental illness myself because I work in the mental health field & have a close friend who is also Bopolar. I noticed a book in a halfprice book store written by a Psychiatrist who is also an Astrologer(I think) who wrote a book about this subject, & almost bought it for my mother who's a Nurse Clinician working with Schitzophrenics. Unfortunately, I didn't get it at the time, & when I did go to get it, it was gone & I don't recall the Author's name.

I'm curious as to what you found out through that site, if you feel like sharing.

------------------
Love and Light,
Kelly

Hi Kelly ~ Alexandria told me about a book called Signs of Mental Illness by Mitchell E. Gibson, could that be it? Yes, I still live in Harrisburg, so I'm not very far from your brother. Ingrid Naiman emailed me back very promptly, but I'm afraid that her message went over my head, as most things do these days. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm not just hopeless. Thank you for responding. MoonladyC

Moonlady C,

You're not hopeless, a lot of this stuff is over my head too! Maybe you can post some of what she said & Dave or some of the other wonderful knowflakes here in Lindaland can help you to decipher it!

That might be the book, did you get it? I'll have to look for it, thanks.

Keep your chin up & focus on coming out of that shell of yours. My friend who happens to be Bipolar has a lot of the same fears you do, but there are people out there who are understanding, & don't label, and would love to know you! You have to start building trust somewhere, & it seems to me that this is the perfect place!

Take care,
Kelly

Hi Kelly ~ thanks for your support. I didn't get the book yet, but I plan too someday. Ingrid Naimam said that it's a Saturn-Neptune syndrome and that I will need to understand why I have the mood swings in order to gain insight into my moods and develop control. She also said that it will take months of therapy and commitment on my part, but this I already know. It's kind of hard to be in therapy without any money though. I feel so stuck. Thanks Kelly, MoonladyC

MoonLadyC, most psychiatrists and psychologists will work with you on a sliding fee scale. Let's suppose that last year you earned 15000.00 ~ they take the 15, multiply by 2 and arrive at a fee of 30.00 per session. Also, most states offer free services that might be worth looking into. I hope this helps.

------------------
Peace be with you all,

Laura Elizabeth

Thank you Laura Elizabeth, but I was seeing a doctor who worked with the county and was on a sliding scale fee. I was let go in October because of my inability to pay. I'm currently living on my son's child support which is only $40 per week. Once I buy food it's gone. My med's are about $200 a month, so even if I could see the doctor I couldn't afford the meds. Right now, as I see it, my only choice is welfare, which I haven't been able to do thus far. I know your heart is in the right place, thank you. MoonLadyC

Dear MoonladyC--

I don't know that much about mental illness.I have suffered from depression--and some other junk. I had an AWFUL LOT of years in therapy.
Doesn't make me an expert in anything but my own mind and how IT works.
The real world still throws me for a loop tho'

But I feel sad that you are up against it right now.
You must'nt give up hOpe ---hOpe is what brought you here!!
Kelly is right ---this is a good place to practice up on people.
Do Not be ashamed for being Bi-Polar. It's not your fault. And you do not owe anyone any explanations either.

You're here right?? OK So that means you want to change things.
One thing at a time.

You can make some phone calls from home and check out what might be out there to help you.
It could be some kind of community service --or helping and elderly person or weeding the city flower beds could be traded for some therapy.

And the phone calls alone would be good practice.

Do you leave the house for your yard or a nearby park?
Sometimes when people put me off I like to just listen to the birds in my yard.

On the money--have you looked into the WIC program?
They provide lots of good food for free. Milk peanut butter cereal like that.It works kind of like food stamps but it covers specific food items---so that you can spend your cash a little further.
I was on welfare for two years when Joanne was born--so I know how scary it can be. But you just might have to take that step.
Only for a while.---None of this HAS to be permanant unless you choose it to--and I do not think thats what you want.

I bet Dave can help you read that e-mail---as soon as the knowflakes start talking degrees of anything I'm lost --- but ya just gotta keep trying you know?

Pluto can force some changes on you that you'll never see coming--so I think Dave is right when he says you should start practicing now----so it will be easier when the BIG changes come.

I know how frightening it can be to take a step that has always seemed so far away.
I will never forget the terror I felt the night I took what I knew was my last drink.
Oh I was scared. I never felt so alone in my life.
But I made it. One day at a time. Sometimes one hour or minute at a time.
I've had some tremendous reasons to start again.
The roof at my business suffered 130,000.00 worth of damage during the blizzard of 1999.
I was sober only three days when I heard this big BOOM over my head-------my hands shook for a week.
I found a kitty in the road three months sober----it was'nt my kitty but I had to take care of it.
You see I started drinking when my cat was murdered in 1988.
So there I was 11 years later--three months sober--holding a bleeding dying kitty in my arms along side the road at 1 AM after work.
I sat on the curb and held him and remembered my Ginny Boots and thinking of Karma.
I never delt with it when it happened --so here I was dealing with it now.

I could go on and on with the challanges that have reared their ugly heads since I decided to sober up---but I am here to tell you ---1 year 1 month 17 days sober---and 52 pounds lighter--- ---If you REALLY want it nothing not even YOU can stand in your way.
The biggest obstacle I have had to hurdle has been ME every step of the way.

The answers are within you--and the Stars can help you find them.

Any time you want to talk--I and all the other Knowflakes are here.

With all these tidbits of wisdom to be found in this Magical place ----yOu will find what yOu are Looking fOr.

Peace My Friend,

Searching

BTW--

I believe there is a nice Roller Rink in Harrisburg--Thats what I do for a living---

A rink is a neat place to be alone in a croud.
It's not a sport that you need anyone else for---just concentrating on the skating could keep your mind off being around people--and if you get scared --you can always leave.
Just a thought.

Searching,

Very well said!!! That goes for me too Moonlady C - we're here for you, to lend support. You can do anything you set your mind to, just take that first step.
Searching had many good suggestions, pick one & try it. I know it's probablly not easy to have to look at the possibility of having to go on welfare, but try & look on the bright side. You can get medical assistance which will enable you to get therapy & medication which will help you to get on your feet & feel good enough to be able to find a job. Like searching said, it dosen't have to be for a long time.

Sorry if I sound like I'm telling you what you should do, that's not my intent at all. I just feel bad about your situation, & wish there was something I could do to help!

Hang in there

------------------
Love and Light,
Kelly

MoonladyC-

I'm back today ---and I am sending yOu a big HUG Feel it?

Kelly -- I'm blowing yOu kisses!!!

John Lennon really knew what he was singing when he sang "Imagine all the people sharing all the world"

OK HUGS TO EVERYONE!
And Pussycat whisker kisses too!!

Searching

Moonlady C,

Hope your doing ok, I've been thinking about you & am sending Positive loving vibrations your way! ...And a big hug too! How old is your son, I have a son too, he's 11.

Hi Searching, thanks for the kisses, I got a warm fuzzy feeling inside! I responded to you on the Chinese Zodiac post about our similar birthdays - both being Virgo's, 2's, & a year apart. I thought we might have a lot of similar planets, but there weren't too many, I think you have a lot of Libra if I recall correctly? I only have one planet in Libra, my Mars. But, I have a lot of Air with my Asc & Moon in Gemini! There appear to be many of us Virgo's here - it probablly has to do with our anxious anticipation for the discovery of Vulcan!?

Take care ladies - xoxo,
Kelly

Hi Kelly & Searching, Thank you to you both for all your kind words. I feel like such a fool, emailing people with questions and then not being able to understand or follow thru with the advice I'm given. I feel as if I'm just wasting everyone's time on my trivial problems. I'm so sorry for that.It used to hurt when my ex-boyfriend (a Leo) would say "This isn't Rocket Science!!!" and he said it often. He'd get so irritated with my incompetence. I know that it's frustrating for others, but it's even more frustrating for me because I can't walk away from it. He finally walked away for good on New Year's Eve. I'm sad that he left, but I know that our time together had to end.
Kelly, My son is 10, he'll be 11 on July 22. He has the traits of both Cancer and Leo, I strongly suspect he is bipolar as well, but he has only been diagnosed as Dyslexic.I remember reading in one of Linda's books that being on the cusp doesn't mean you have personality traits of both signs, that you are either one or the other. Did I get that right? Well, I can see both Cancer & Leo in my son very strongly and he sees it as well. Does anyone have any thoughts on that?
Searching, I know that there are several skating rinks in town, but I really can't be in a crowd of people, even one or two people make me nervous. Besides, I'm very uncoordinated! I don't attach anything to my feet that has wheels!!! My son, on the otherhand, is a wiz on rollerblades and the skateboard. He's been snowboarding lately and picked it up quickly.I'm so glad he's not entirely like me!
Thanks again... moonladyc

Dear MoonladyC--

Hi!

You Know--I just came home after 15 hours at my rink. I've had almost 250 people thru my hands today.
One at a time.
I fitted their childrens feet by hand.
I cleaned up their spilled popcorn and soda.
250 people who tramped snow covered boots across my lobby and peed in my toilets.
I smiled so much my face hurts. And my ears are ringing.

In LIGHT Of all that maybe the skating idea was'nt too brilliant.

Anyway---YES Linda DID teach that their is no such thing as a cusp---so to speak.
She said that you are either one or the other--but you can't be both because the Sun can't be in two sign at the same time.

Was that relationship signs?---I think so.
But I am not positive.

When I thought Joanne --my oldest daughter was a Capricorn--I really struggled with all those Aquarian traits in her. To be fair --as a Virgo I think Life would have just been easier if she had been a Capricorn.
Dave lOoked it up for me and she is an Aquarian by just 12 minutes!
She has Mercury and Neptune in Capricorn. Mix that with Scorpio rising---and I think thats what I was picking up on.
Once I knew for sure she is an Aquarian everything else just fell into place with much more clarity---and made me feel a whole lot better as a Mom to understand what made this kid tic. She's a piece of work ---I'll tell you that---has been from the first breath.
She has a Taurus Moon and Mars in Scorpio.
If ever Linda needed an example of a child for whom the "time out chair" would be a useless waste of time ---this is the kid.
By the time I got done "keeping" her in the chair--neither one of us could remember why she was sent there in the first place.

*Msic NOtes*
"Those were the days my friend --we thought they'd never end---------"

So yes --find out for sure what your son is --and go from there.

When I first came to this site--I was sooo overwhelmed from the joy of being here---I really got carried away.
Unfortunately for anyone who wanted to talk about something else --it also just happened to be a time in my life when my past was back for another round of Karma.
Whether it's mine or his ---I still have yet to LEARN.

This place feels so safe---because even tho' we don't really knOw each Other---we all KNOW and LOVE Linda.
So it is really easy to go on about stuff here that you would not carry on about in our own little worlds.
Very few people around my life hear me talk about Joe. Not like I have here.
But I feel that HERE is the only place I am going to get the answers I am "searching" for. I have unloaded here in a way that I am embarrassed about too. And I am kind of ashamed that I have appeared to be selfish at times too. *shudder*
Listening to you I realized that for all of us this place holds a special place where we can "let gO and let GOd". Even tho' it feels uncomfortable at times --perhaps this is the only way we can get where we need to be in order to fulfill our own destiny on this Earth.
I don't really care what others say about my situation----I don't want to hear about his upbringing or any other reason why he has done what he has done.
I want spiritual answers. The kind I am finding here and in my church.
Mixing the two has been kind of like mixing Chiropractic care with medical care---they help each other out and make each other stronger--so then I am stronger too.
I want to come to such a HUGE point of understanding that I am filled with fOrgiveness. not what I have now---this coming and going thing---but REAL forgiveness.
That's why this place is so important for you and me and everyone else here.
We can all help each other Learn and Love--absolutely truthfully.
And THAT is pretty damn cool.

So rattle on and fret and stew and worry and cry and CELEBRATE and LOVE and LAUGH and SEE THE LIGHT!
If they have'nt kicked ME out yet--then it must be that everyones "stuff" is welcome!

FOrgive me Crystal fOr the shOOt frOm the hip language.

Love and HUGS to you hon'

Searching

Kelly---after I finish this thread--I'll head over to the chinese zodiak and we'll chat there.

Moonlady, to respond to your astrological question about being on the cusp of a sign -- you're right, Linda DID say that your Sun sign is definitely one sign or the other, never a "mixture" of the two. But it's important to remember that that's only the SUN sign ... the positions of the Moon, Ascendant, and personal planets also have a lot to do with the personality traits you express. In particular, Mercury and Venus are always close to the Sun, so it VERY often happens that these strong personality factors are in the sign adjacent to the Sun sign ... and this can account for having a personality that shows both influences.

Without your son's time and place of birth I can't do an exact chart, but I did a quick solar chart for July 22, 1989 (hope that's right) and it looks like his Sun is in Cancer, with Venus, Mercury, AND Mars in Leo -- no WONDER he shows qualities of both signs!!!

Love,
Greg

moonlady... did she email you back?
I have suffered from depression on and off for about 5 years now and I really don't want to have to rely on medication to keep me afloat...
I am studying mental disorders at great length in my psychology degree but I would be fascinated to understand the implications to astrology...
please let me know
*smiles*
cObWeBsOuL
xoxoxoxoxox

hi everyone ~ My son was born 7/22/89, you got that right Greg, his birthplace was Hershey, PA and his time of birth was sometime around 2AM, I just checked his birth certificate for the exact time, but it's not listed, I'll have to dig thru the papers I got when I was in the hospital, there in a box...somewhere! He is the sweetest kid you'd ever want to meet, very loving, always polite, extremely moral.He has many interests, he's especially into anything to do with nature. He's decided that he's going to be an underwater photographer someday and he's held this idea for the past several years. He's a very likable kid, but he has a very hard time making friends as he is terribly shy. He is also very sensitive and cries easily. He can't cope with anger, just as I can't. Did he learn this from me or is it genetics or astrology? He's had a very difficult time in school (he missed about 5 months between last year & this year), his emotions making him an easy target for bullies. I want to help him, but having the same problems myself, I really don't know what to do.
Cobwebsoul, I'm assuming that you are asking about Ingrid Naiman when you asked if she emailed me back... Yes she did, but I don't know how to reply to her.Her last email says: "I suppose the question is whether you want help and then whether you can offer something in return for the help as the process is bound to involve a bit more than a magic wand? Spices are a good start, maybe the least expensive but also least focused strategy. Good Luck, Ingrid" I do want help,the thing is, at the present time I have nothing to offer in return. Therapists don't work on the barter system, at least none that I know. Does anyone know what spices she was referring to or how to use them? I'm at a loss, I don't know how to respond to her email, I'd appreciate any suggestions. Thank you all very much. MoonLadyC

Oh Moonlady C, your son sounds gorgeous. A little bit like mine in fact. I bet they'd get on. It's probably difficult though. All those emotional, communicative planets in Leo, and his sun in sweet, gentle Cancer. I bet he'll be just fine though. I have a friend who suffers from manic depression and she and my son are so sweet together. I think observing her and her moods has made him, to a certain extent, a little bit more sensitive, aware and adaptable than he might otherwise have been.

Love from Tanya

Hi Tanya ~ It's good to hear from you again. Thank you for the compliment on my son's behalf. He really is a sweetie. Everyone who meets him wants to take him home. Even people in the grocery store comment on how good he is. What they don't see, however, is that he's so well behaved because he's so afraid of getting into trouble. He's always been extremely sensitive of even the slightest critism, but so am I, so what can I say? I try very hard to contain my emotions around him, which is very difficult at times. When I'm depressed I try to hold in the tears until after he's gone to bed, when I'm manic there's no controlling it, but I don't do anything that would scare him then, at least I hope not. How is your friend coming along, have you seen her recently? Please keep in touch!
I'm still hoping that someone can give me some insight as to how I should respond to Dr. Naiman's email. I feel like I keep opening doors, only to be lost once I'm inside.
I'd also like to comment on the welfare issue as I think some of you might have misunderstood, since I probably didn't make myself clear in the first place. The reason I cannot apply for welfare (which will get me the medical treatment I need)isn't a matter of pride, actually I went to welfare when my son's father left me (at 5 months pregnant and unemployed) What it is, is a matter of fear. Illogical and unreasonable fear, yes, but very real and uncontrollable fear just the same. I'm not even sure what it is that I'm most afraid of. I wasn't always this afraid of everything... I hate it, it's ruining my life.

Thanks so much to all of you... Moonladyc

Hi MoonladyC. Thankyou for you interest regarding my friend. Well, she recently had a bone scan and they found something on her upper back. They don't know what it is and she's tired and frightened. It really does seem to be one thing after another.

I've noticed that everyone is trying to give you advice (practically all of it is very sound, kind and hopefully useful). It's difficult isn't it? I know that when people first meet my friend, or are told about her, that they immediately say "well, why isn't she doing this. or that, or whatever." It's very hard for someone with a fresh as a daisy perspective to understand how tiring it is when you are actually living it. I'm really glad that you enjoy your communication with all the Knowflakes and I hope it helps. (I myself still know practically nothing about astrology i'm afraid. It's very addictive though so... i'm learning.

Anyway, bye for now,
Love, Tanya

Hi Tanya ~ Tiring... that's just the tip of the iceburg, but thank you so much for acknowledging that. I am totally exhausted most of the time. Unless I'm manic, then I have the strengh of ten men and will work myself until I feel as if I'll die of physical exhausion, but I keep on going anyhow. Of course I'm using all that energy to do really dumb things though, so what good is it? I'm really sorry to hear that your friend is having physical problems on top of her emotional ones, I hope she's in good medical hands and all will be well. Write again, I enjoy the company. Moonladyc

Hi MC (can I call you that, it's quicker?)
Well, about 10 minutes ago my friend' mother called to say that the results of the bone scan showed that she has a broken bone in her neck. Now this woman has been in pain for weeks because of this and, because she has a reputation for being a trouble maker, the main hosopital near here refused to take her seriously. Luckily her parents were able to pay for a private scan and, well, she is now back at the main hospital for surgery. The frightening thing is that for the last few weeks she has had no feeling in her arms and she has always had a fear of paralysis. Hopefully the bone problem is just affecting hr nerve endings. The surgery will, if all goes well, stop this.

Anyway, apart from the endometriosis, all of her physical problems have been caused by her chronic drug-taking, drinking etc. It's so sad because her mental outlook has been so hopeful and positive in the last couple of years. This girl, I wish you could have met her, was one of the most beautiful, funniest, cleverest and talented of people. A real type original. There are so many funny stories involving Elizabeth. She was a real leader in adventure. So naughty.

Anyway. What do YOU do when you're manic? E used to run around the house, bottle of Vodka in one hand, feather duster in the other (cos she's an old fashioned girl!) screaming "crumbs, crumbs, why does it always have to be crumbs". Her home was always either completely squalid or neurotically clean. Nothing in between. Bit like her really, alas!

Speak to you soon
Love, Tanya

Tanya, please feel free to call me anything you like, your friend sounds an awful lot like me, minus the bottle of vodka... LOL! But as far as my house is concerned, mine is exactly as you explained hers. I vaccuum quite a bit when I'm manic and then I don't vaccuum at all when I'm depressed, Right now my floor is filthy, the dishes are piled up in the sink and all my plants are dead from lack of water. When I'm manic I have 1001 projects going on at the same time, I can't sit still from morning till night and I spend an awful lot of money that I don't even have on things I certainly don't need. I get "brilliant" ideas that I realize were really dumb once I "come down". I'm depressed much more than I'm manic and at times wish it were the opposite. I completely understand what Elizabeth is going through with the doctors not believing her. As a child I had a broken arm and my mother sat there and told me the story of the boy who called wolf. It's very frustrating when people don't believe you! Especially when you are in pain! Thanks for writing, MC (you're right, that is easier)

Hi Moonlady C. or MC,

Sorry that your fear prevents you from taking the steps that you need to help yourself, maybe the next time you're feeling (or start to feel) manic you'll have the energy you need to do it, only problem is you probablly won't think it's a problem then. Do you have a supportive friend or family member who could walk you through the process? I hope I didn't come off with the fresh as daisy's look at life Tayna mentioned. I hope not, she might not have read back far enough to know about my Bipolar friend or 10 years experience in the mental health field. I just know that if my friend Laurie's having trouble she knows she can count on me to walk her through it. I also have to be somewhat confrontive with her at times because she often does not want to take her meds or will skip doses, ect. She sounds a lot like you & Tanya's friend, and has had quite an interesting life!? She's also a number 16/7, which you know about Tanya since I gave you Linda's descriptions on another thread. Interesting how we all have son's around the same age - right now mine is trying to give his cat a bath! This should be interesting !?

I have an idea about your trying to get clairification about what that Astrologer lady had to say to you....Why don't you post the whole response on a new post here for Dave to respond to? I didn't really understand what she ment either from what you shared so far.

Hope the change in weather picks up your mood. I don't know what it was like in Harrisburgh today, but it was beautiful here in Pittsburgh - people were out biking & jogging, kids out playing. It was nice to see!

Take care,
Kelly

MoonLAdyC, I emailed Ingrid two days ago and she told me that she generally does readings by telephone... she gave me the email addresses of two of her students in the UK, one of which said she would be happy to help me via email.. although, I have only just sent back my response answering some (very personal) questions about myself! I will let you know if I get a response.. she said it could take up to two weeks for her to get back to me. I could email you the addresses if you like?! let me know *smiles*
with love
cObWeBsOuL
xoxoxoxoxox

Hi Kelly ~ Even when I'm manic the fear is still there, even more so I think because I'm so afraid of making a fool out of myself. I start talking a mile a minute and say things that are really dumb, I also get irritated by people rather easily then and say things that I later regret. I "fly off the handle" at the slightest thing when I'm manic. This isn't like "me" at all. As far as family & friends are concerned... I get very little support from either. As a matter of fact it's been 3 years since I've seen most of my family. My parents live in Maryland and as far as my mother is concerned all of this is caused by the evil spirits that are brought by believing in astrology. I doubt if my mother even told my father, she doesn't tell him anything that might upset him. What a marriage! It really wouldn't do much good to tell him anyway, from past experience I know that he wouldn't believe it. I only have one close friend and she is swamped with problems of her own, I don't really see her very often and when I do I rarely get a word in edgewise. She's known that I've been looking for help and has yet to offer any (even after I asked), so...
It's been so long since I've been outside in the daytime, but I hear that it's supposed to be in the 60's this weekend, if the neighbor's aren't home maybe I can poke my head outside for a minute.
My son always wants to give his guinia pig a bath, I keep telling him to wait until it's warmer, what is it with kids and wet animals? It was good to hear from you again!Please write again, MoonladyC

Cobwebsoul ~ So you didn't have any trouble understanding Dr. Naiman's response to you? Could you maybe translate mine? MoonladyC

Hi Kelly, you're right. I hadn't read your letter, Sorry. I hope your cat is still with us!!!

Yes, it's good isn't it, our sons being the same age? It's half-term here in England. My son's just strong-armed me into giving him some money for technical stuff and, extremely annoying this, some of those outrageously expensive Pokemon cards. Do you know about them? Awful things. My son just loves the trading aspect of these things. Oh well. Roll on the next fad!

Anyway, i'm working at the moment, for a language school and i,m very lucky because I can do most of the work at home. At the moment it's just ground work, preparation, host-families etc. The students themselves don,t actually come here until May.

I've just had a thought MC. If you have a computer at home, perhaps you could take in typing, or something? Quite a few people here make a living from doing that. Very good for women who have just had kids and maybe don't want to leave them. But then again, there is a great call for typists because this is a University town. Maybe it's not the same where you are MC.Just a thought...

Hope you are all well and enjoying the fabulous sunshine

Love from Tanya

Tanya ~ Yes, Pokemon has invaded our household as well. Jake got a check from my mother for Valentine's Day and guess what he spent the money on... Yep, Pokemon cards. It's such a small world.
I too have thought about working from home using the computer, when I was manic. I actually tried it last year and it was a disaster. I tried selling things through ebay and then after I had a few orders I couldn't leave the house to mail the packages. I decided that it would be best to wait until I was stable before I tried something like that again. It's bad enough to not be able to follow through with projects of my own, but it's even worse when it involves other people. I still haven't reconciled with the people from ebay, I can't even look to see what bad things the people probably wrote about me. Thanks for the suggestion though, I know that you're trying to help, and I know how frustrating it is for you that I have an excuse for every suggestion that I get. MC

Please, please don't worry MC. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like. One minute feeling as if you could take on the world, the next, feeling as if you are drowning. I suppose that, to a certain extent you feel as if you can't trust yourself. Of course, your illness means that you inevitably end up letting people down. We DO understand though. I don't think for one minute anyone thinks you're making excuses.
I remember that we used to get very frustrated with E. When she was in her manic state she would have an idea, and proceed to bang on and on about it. She would become very offended if we did'nt listen. Of course, she never actually did anything with these ideas but... this is obviously another symptom...

Anyway, MC, your posts are always lucid and sensible. You don't seem to be particularly angry or bitter. How have you managed to retain this degree of perspective?

Tanya

Tanya ~ I do feel bitterness at times, when I think how my family, friends and past boyfriends have let me down. I try not to think about it because I hate the feeling that bitterness gives me. A disgusted sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. If I had an illness that they could understand, such as cancer, I'd be getting treated totally differently. Where are the get well soon cards and flowers that a sick person usually gets? Not here. Because in their eyes I'm not sick, but lazy, manipulative and spoiled. But enough of that... my stomach is starting to clench up all ready.
Speaking of ideas, I actually was manic long enough once to design a set of 12 astrological greeting cards and have them copyrighted. Now they're just gathering dust in a box somewhere, along with all my other dreams. Thanks for caring, it means alot. MC

Hi MC & Tanya! ,

Yes, my son was into pokemon as well!!! Now he has the whole set & wants to sell it to make money! He actually has sold some of his doubles. He was obsessed until he got the whole set, then he heard that there were some new cards coming out & refused to stay hooked into it - I'm glad! Now he's back to football cards, quite the collector my son!

The cat survived, but Tommy didn't fare so well, he got scratched up & the cat kept getting out of the tub, so I ended up doing it. Now that he's had a demonstration, he feels confident that he can do it the next time!

MC, I saw your post about the e-mails, I hope you have some luck with that. I hope things get better for you soon!

------------------
Love and Light,
Kelly

Thanks Kelly, MC

Hi MC,

I'm glad Dave's going to look at those e-mails for you & help you out with that. That's great!! Maybe something will come out of it that is helpful & useful to you. Let me know what happens once you get the information.

I can't believe how beautiful it is outside today. I'm not going to let this day go by without getting out! I think I'll ride my bike down to the lake by my house & go walking - I'll feel too guilty if I don't since I didn't do anything active yesterday. You should try & get some fresh air yourself, even if it's just to stand in your yard for a little while & listen to the birds.

Take care ~ Love,
Kelly

MoOnladyC
I'm sorry...I really don't know what she meant in your reply.. spices? The spice of 'life'?! I don't know *laughs* I just emailed her and told her that I had visited her site and found it fascinating and that I studied psychology and had an interest in astrology. I told her briefly that I had suffered from depression and that was that. Her reply was simply that she worked by telephone mainly and that she could refer me to some students of hers... nothing cryptic at all... most strange.. don't you think?! Unless, of course it was a different person writing to you
She gave me the email addresses and asked me to get back to her to let her know how things are going! Do you want the email addresses?
sorry I ciuldn't be of any help
love
cObWeBsOuL
xoxoxoxoxox

Cobwebsoul ~ I guess you better give me those email addresses, cause it looks like nobody's responding to the Ingrid Naiman emails. I wonder why she didn't refer me to them? Maybe you should get my email address from Greg, I don't think that you should post them. Thanks.
Kelly ~ You'll be glad to know that I did venture outside yesterday. The weather was beautiful. I drove over to my ex-boyfriend's work place and put all his stuff that was at my house in his car. He called later on in the day and then came over last night... so it looks like we're back together, but I really don't know for how long. Even though everything went fine last night, I'm not terribly optimistic about any long term plans. Time will tell I guess. MoonladyC

Hi,
I didn't read all the posts because there is so much in here, I was just wondering if anyone had any suggestions for me...
I am dysthymic, which is like bipolar, but it's a little milder, more on an even keel...depressed all the time...with a few manic swings upward here and there. I also have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Seasonal Affective Disorder, and PMS. THe SAD aggravates the PMS, and as I live in a snowy region, this is not so good.
I have control over these things as much as I can. My body is EXTREMELY sensitive to medication, and rejects them all. I believe there is a reason for this.If the body doesn't want it...it's for a reason. Besides, I have a problem taking anything that could potentially damage all my vital organs from A-Z.
The main problem is not the moods. Those I understand.
I just can't seem to get the simplest little things together...like keeping the house clean, getting up for class...wanting to go to work...mainly anything that isn't, or hasn't been in my heart of hearts. I am purrfectly motivated to do things I love...
Mainly, what I am asking here, and sorry for the ramble...is this: Does anyone have, or know of an effective way to self-discipline when dealing with these disorders?
Spirituality has helped me cope with the moods and the mental state sooooo much. This self-discipline things is my last step...and I need some help. The docs have been unhelpful thus far...
Blessings to you all...there is always love to see us through.
Love and Light,
Kelly Ann