Dear Ariel,
me & my aries fiance have been together for 7 years. i am an aquarius(2.2.76) w/ a capricorn venus, pices moon. he was born 4.7.61@12:03pm and he has a cancer moon & an aries venus. He never will kiss me on the mouth and seems to have little interest in sex, but always wants to be together 24/7 and just asked me to marry him and gave me a ring! i love sex and what should i do? any help would be so appreciated!
thankyou very much.I'm sorry but i don't know what time i was born. thank you again for your help .

[This message has been edited by i luv linda (edited 02-08-2001).]

I need your birth data to look at what's going on.

Love and light,
Auriel

------------------
Love, not learning finds the way,
Opens the eyes to the Doors of the Day,
Uncovers the wonders of undreamed sights,
And leads the way to the Wisdom Lights.
...Linda Goodman in Gooberz

Dear I LOve Linda...

i think that you will need to look at a lot more than your charts before you consider marriage with this guy!

Like how have you stayed with someone who will not kiss you on the mouth for 7 years! ANd not to be interested in sex with someone you supposedly want to marry? This, i am sorry to say, is not healthy at all and really needs to be looked at - either by the two of you together or by him on his own...

I do not mean to but in and be rude but your question really amazes me that you would be considering marriage to him...

Do not set your sights so low! Is this the kind of marriage you want? If so, go ahead... If not then get him to realize his problem ( and it most definitely is a problem...)and do something about it if he wants to be with you and also look at why you are in a relationship like this when you could pressumably find others to be with who would be equally interested in you and able to express this...

You need to discuss this issued between you and also get outside help if need be... (councellor etc...)

there could be many reasons that it is there but that doesn't discount the fact that it is and it needs to be dealt with.

i wish you all the best with your quest,

Fuchsia

Dear Fuchsia & Auriel,
My birth data is 2.2.76 @7:15pm Bronx, New York & my fiance is 4.7.61 @12:03pm New Rochelle, New York. Thanks for all your help!

[This message has been edited by i luv linda (edited 02-09-2001).]

Dear Fuchsia,
i did break up with my aries for about a year and dated like crazy and had lots of fun kissing(which, sadly enough is my favorite) but i never felt like i loved anyone the way i love my aries. he is perfect in every every way except for this & i read in linda's book that often aries loses interst in sex once the chase is over and they are in a relationship. so i'm hoping to rectify this problem bc also i don't want for him to become bored with me and be attracted to someone else or whatever and i just love sex and passion blah blah blah....thanks again! what sign are you ?
luv,
i luv linda

[This message has been edited by i luv linda (edited 02-09-2001).]

Please spell out the birth months.

Love and light,
Auriel

------------------
Love, not learning finds the way,
Opens the eyes to the Doors of the Day,
Uncovers the wonders of undreamed sights,
And leads the way to the Wisdom Lights.
...Linda Goodman in Gooberz

I luv linda,as an Aries I would like to tell you I agree 1000% with what fuchsia had to say..there is something not "right" with him.It may show in his chart,which I dont have time to look at right now but will later.
Why would you even consider marrying him is beyond me. If kissing and sex isnt a big deal to you then, sure go ahead! -if it IS,then you will be eventually be "looking somewhere else". Aries do NOT get bored unless you become boring .(although other factors can lead into it)
One of my best friends is an Aries with a Cancer moon,and she lost interest 10 years later because of other reasons,not because her hubby became "boring".

dear auriel,
my birthdata is Febuary 2, 1976 born Bronx, New York at 7:15pm.
my fiance's birthdata is April 7, 1961 born New Rochelle, New York at 12:03pm.

thanks again!

Dear Aries,
thanks for the advise. what were the other factors that you're talking about? i guess it will help to find out what's going on inhis chart. as an aries, why do you think he would ask me to marry him and act so in love with me(besides the sex part)if he didn't want to be with me? i just mean, honestly, what do you think is going on hypothetically? like what would make you act that way, if you can imagine?
thanks!
Luv,
i luv linda

iluvlinda,I took a quick look at his chart and saw a couple of things that may or may not be affecting him. He has a Sun squared mars placement which isnt the best for a man,It may make him angry inside,and his own worst enemy. That combined with his Capricorn Moon could be making him cold and reserved in affection.
There is a 15 year age difference in you two..does this bother him? When you split up and took up with other men,did that bother him?? He may be holding onto resentments here.As an Aries, he may have lost some trust. Do you two fight or do you treat each other with respect? As a Cap moon,he may have been emotionally,mentally or physically abused as a child.You should ask him about this.He may need counseling.You may need it together if you have knowingly or unknowingly hurt him. I really cant know how an Aries with a Cap moon would be but I think some opposing forces are probably within...kind of sad actually. Hopefully you will have patience with him,as I dont doubt he loves you...but when I see that Cap moon,I just know theres something going on inside that persons psyche. Theres a lot you need to ask yourself and him. It sounds like its going to take some work tho. I think you should also maybe ask Dave to look at his chart,as Im sure I probably missed something.Hes the pro,not I,and he may see what would take me ages to sort out.Maybe ask him on Monday,as he seems busy and its also the weekend.Theres a few transits there that may be affecting him. If the man has always been this way,dont expect a lot to change.
The Aries friend of mine lives with a man who has mentally deteriated with paranoid delusional disorder. This has caused hurt,resentment and frustration to pile up sky high.It had nothing to do with her becoming bored with him,but she sure doesnt want to have anything to do with him sexually speaking now either. I just used that as an example. I lost interest in my ex boyfriend of nine years because of things such as addictions,lack of mutual interests and other things,so in a way he became "boring".
Anyway,GOOD luck girl--if you think you can live the rest of your life like this,then go ahead and marry him,but remember marriage is a serious commitment that is MEANT to be forever...not to be taken lightly.

[This message has been edited by Aries (edited 02-11-2001).]

Hi I luv Linda, (Hi Aries...)

I wanted to write back to you and could not get to it till today...

Really, i meant what i said... You broke up with him for a year - ok... Why did you break up?

You sound sweet, i would hate to see you making a wrong decision... You say he is perfect in everyway except for this... Well it is a pretty big "this"... and i find it hard to believe that he is perfect in everyway...

Have you spoken to him about this and told him that it bothers you? what has he said? You have been together for 7 years, you said, how has this not come up?

Please take a serious look...

Are you with him because you feel badly about yourself? Do you feel you can have any relationship you want (ie. one that is good for you...) or are you afraid that you won't find someone to be with?

I hope that you are well,
take care,
Fuchsia

Oh, i'm a Cancer by the way...

Dear Aries,
wow, everything you found out is 100% on the mark! i can understand now better whats going on bc honestly, i love him so much and i know he's a good person and i just want to understand so i can be with him forever. and now i understand so much. i'm sorry about what happened to you, i know its hard to love someone and watch them hurt themselves and just be plain dumb with addictions and stuff, my older sister is an addict. me and my aries have been through alot and he was abused and had alot of anger in him and he's has changed alot since i met him for us to be together & i don't mind the age diffrence at all. he's really goodlooking(like all aries i know)and younge looking and in spirit(of course, probably just like yourself!)so thanks so much! also, thanks for everything you wrote about the virgo asc.at the other message boards.i have always wondered by i was so critical and all and felt bad about it, like "why am i so damn critical!" but now that i know I have a virgo asc.it all makes sense, so i know its not just a bad habit or whatever. thanks so much!
LUv,
i LuV LinDa
p.s. i was just wondering why is it sad for an aries to have a cap moon?

[This message has been edited by i luv linda (edited 02-11-2001).]

Dear Fuchsia,
you may be right about alot, i mean you probably are, but i would never leave him, unless he turned out to be someone else that i don't know him to be, like a liar or cheater or abuser. to me, he is perfect in every most important way, and even the things he's not perfect for i love him anyway, he doesn't have to be perfect in every way. maybe if i wasen't scared to lose him i would just go out and party, but i don't want to lose him so i have to make compromise. i don't know. i just will not leave him ever, unless he cheated on me or something. we have talked about this before and he said his sex drive wasens't that high, only like 2 times a week, and when i think about what aries the member said, to be perfectly honest, i did tell him that he was a weird kisser like a year ago, or more and thats when this started. but i didn't think that mattered until i read what she said about how maybe i hurt him somehow. well, i hope you are doing good and sorry this is so sappy! thanks again for all your help and insight!

thanks!
LuV,
I lUv LiNdA

I Luv Linda,

There are indicators in your charts together that you will always have the sexual incompatibility. The only way to overcome this problem is with a lot of Love, which I also saw in your charts. I think you are wise to understand this life is only temporary and the sex isn't as important as the Love between you. You really should order a Lover's Report to gain a better understanding of what you're dealing with. If you know what the aspects are, it'll help you with your relationship. If you need help with the interpretation, just ask.

I also agree with Aries about your mate. He has a lot to overcome and deal with inside himS-ELF. Your Love, understanding and patience will help him a great deal. You also might want to get a Natal Report for your mate so you have a better understanding of why he behaves the way he does. If you need any help with the interpretation, just ask Dave on his forum.

Love and light,
Auriel

------------------
Love, not learning finds the way,
Opens the eyes to the Doors of the Day,
Uncovers the wonders of undreamed sights,
And leads the way to the Wisdom Lights.
...Linda Goodman in Gooberz

Thank you Auriel! I wish you all the LUv you can handle!

No problem. I also wish you the best with your relationship.

Love and light,
Auriel

------------------
Love, not learning finds the way,
Opens the eyes to the Doors of the Day,
Uncovers the wonders of undreamed sights,
And leads the way to the Wisdom Lights.
...Linda Goodman in Gooberz

No problem I Luv Linda,

what you said isn't sappy, of course it is up to you what you choose, it is just important to know what you are choosing is all. Sometimes what we call choice is only the only real option we feel we have... A more real choice is when we know and feel we can have a choice of pleasing options and then choosing...

I am not suggesting that the only alternative to this relation is to go out and party... There are other posibilities for serious relationships out there for you i am sure. But of course it is up to you to decide.

I wish you all the best,

Fuchsia

Thanks Fuchsia
Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!!!!!!

Hi there "I Luv"....I am an Aries Woman. I know an Aries man right now (my first by the way) It is my understanding that most of them lose interest after the "immediate chase" is over. I have also heard that they have a high sex drive...so I am in total agreement with everyone here when they say...there are some other issues going on here. I do however find the Aries man to be a "different breed" so to speak.

I really wish you the best....but moving into a sexless relationship (long term) in my eyes is NOT a healthy move. Especially a marriage. How is your communication...do you talk about your problems??? I just dont want to see you settle for someone who is not going to meet your needs emotionally. Love is a tricky thing. Im still learning myself.

I wish you the best with this, please let us know how it is going for you.

Hi Aries Gal,

I don't know if I Luv Linda is around or not to answer your questions but I know when I looked at their charts I saw the communication between them is beautiful and they don't even have to open their mouths to communicate as long he he's receptive to communicating that way.

Love and light,
Auriel

------------------
Love, not learning finds the way,
Opens the eyes to the Doors of the Day,
Uncovers the wonders of undreamed sights,
And leads the way to the Wisdom Lights.
...Linda Goodman in Gooberz

Hi Everyone!
That is so strange what you said Auriel, about how we don't even have to open our mouths to communicate. Sometimes i feel like an animal when i'm with him, like we communicate like animals through energy or whatever. And I always imagine that we are like two panthers or something snuggled up in our den. i feel that way so so much. But anyway, it is true like you all know, that this sex thing is very weird. And annoying too, bc i work out every day and do tons of other stuff and there is no one to take advantage of all my, whatever. anyway, i don't know what to do though bc honestly he if perfect in every other way and he always wants to be together 24/7 so when would there be time to cheat. although me and my Gemini ex were together almost as much and he found time to so....
Well, i'm just curious but what do all think about Taurus men? I always read that they are crazy for commitment, but all the Taurus' i know are big time cheaters and liars, ect. What do you think? It really bothers me that i don't understand. Anyway, thanks for all you help. i really don't know what to do about my Aries. Maybe we could go on a vaction togther or something. i really wish he would kiss me for chrissakes! this is all just making me so sad
Fuchsia,
I was just reading again what you wrote and i think you're more rite then i wanted to believe, especially about choosing. I grew up very poor and worse, and i sort of feel like he took me away and sometimes i feel like without him i couldn't make it on my own. But then honestly, we do have so much in common and love each other. But you're rite, its not a real free choice.

[This message has been edited by i luv linda (edited 02-23-2001).]

Hi I Love Linda,

Great to hear from you...
I saw your birthdate and saw that you are 25 years old? You know, that is still very young... As you get older you will become more and more in tune with who you are and what you need - from a mate, from life... Just compare yourself to what you were like at 20 and see the difference! I am 29 and i have changed SO much in the last 4 years... There is no way i want the same things now as i did then. Almost everything has changed... I am so sorry that he doesn't even kiss you!
I am not sure exactly what to say actually. I can see, however, you being young and him being older than you and you growing up under difficult circumstances, it is all the easier for you, as you said, to feel that he has saved you and that you need him... I would say that while this may be true to a degree, it is basically you who have saved yourself (put yourself in this situation). You must have chosen this situation cause of what it offered you... Now that you are in it more you can see also what it does not offer you and you are faced with a choice. Do you have anyone to talk to where you are? A close trusted friend, a councellor? Are you totally dependent on this man, do you have other close friends, are you working? I am glad that all other things in your relationship with him are good apart from this one area...

You said you have tried talking to him... And also said that you feel the two of you communicate without words... What does he say about this? Have you told him how important it is to you and how it makes you sad to not have any kind of sexual relations with him? You could try and see what he says... You need to make the point of how important this is to you because only then have you given him the chance to see/understand that and then see what he is willing and/or able to do about it...

I feel that to say that there are more important things than sex is misleading in a way, because although of course friendship and love is higher than just sex, you need to see for yourself whether you as a person are willing and able to happily live without sex and why should you when you can have both love friendship and sex? Many people live without sex, having taken religious vows or feeling it is wrong or whatever and it can become very unhealthy for them! Sex is a natural human urge after all and it can be so amazing and sharing and loving too in the right relationship and when it works under love so why exclude it from any loving relationship?

If you don't feel like it is a free choice (and make sure you really feel this way and not just because i said it...) then that means to me that you are feeling forced/pressured into this (not necesarily by him...). If you were feeling head over heels in love and all happy and blissful you would not be posting here about it after all! And you would also KNOW that he was right for you...

Assuming that you don't feel this certainty and that he is not meeting your needs on all levels you need to do what you can to get those needs met and i would say, THEN see if you want to make any sort of deeper commitment. You may find, that once you feel better about yourself, it will not be ok with you to have such important ( to you...) needs unmet from your primary relationship... I would really recommend finding someone to talk to/ be supportive of you while you work all of this out. Make sure they feel right to you though and that they are someone you feel can support you...

I wish you all the best,

Fuchsia

Dear Fuchsia,
Thankyou so much for all your help. I really appreciate it and i'm so embarassed to keep bothering you! But, still, i'm so glad that you offered all your advise and its true, i can't believe how much i've changed since being 20. it's wonderful and a true blessing.
I'm glad that i became aware of all the diffrent things that are going on so that i can be honest with myself and make true choices from that. i know everything will work out for the best. Its great that how at first i didn't want to admit certain things to myself, but then once i did, just to be able to examine them and see what their worth is, has made be feel much better about everything. so thank you so much and i hope that you are doing well and i wish you all the best!
Thank you so much again, Fuchsia!
LuV,
I lUv LInDA

Hi I Luv Linda,

you are not bothering me at all!

I was so pleased to hear your reply, i am so proud of you...

It is so true that looking at things as they are is the best way to deal with any situation...

I wish you continued growth and strength and clearsightedness and love to hear from you anytime!

Fuchsia

Thanks Fuchsia!