Dont' want to send you a long involved question when you are behind due to comp problems

But can you white light me? I felt the strength of your white light right around 7:45- 7:50 the night you white lighted me for play. SO i know how strong it is

thank you

Hiareth

White light is already on the way. Don't worry about my computer problems, I always have time for yOu. Anyway, my computer problems are all fixed and life is grand again.

Love and light,
Auriel

------------------
Love, not learning finds the way,
Opens the eyes to the Doors of the Day,
Uncovers the wonders of undreamed sights,
And leads the way to the Wisdom Lights.
...Linda Goodman in Gooberz

thanks. here goes. Eric and i had another fight Saturday night and then again last night. He has been telling me about women he finds/found attractive. Okay, I can handle that... but there was a tone like he was trying to hurt me, make me jealous. I asked him about it on Saturday. He said he wasn't and if he was it was "subconscious"

Then last night we discuss it again. It boils down to he's "scared to be in a relationship, he hasn't been in one in 9 years and broke up with her because he was scared she would leave him. He's scared of being alone, but wants pyschological space to feel like he could go out with someone else (though doesn't want to now).. This after him being the person to tell me he loves me, would i move in, etc. etc.

Okay, my head tells I should be okay with him going out with someone else, if that's what he needs to "grow" but my heart is saying I can't do it. I don't want to live and love in "fear". Is this something I should do for my growth?

What i want to know is even if i find it in me to say yes to that, are similar issues just going to keep arising over and over? I notice you have been very direct and blunt in your answers and advice lately, Please be the same with me.

With all the activity coming up with my play, I want to focus my energy wisely.

Hiareth

No problem sweetie but I need your birth data again. I lost everything with the virus.

Love and light,
Auriel

------------------
Love, not learning finds the way,
Opens the eyes to the Doors of the Day,
Uncovers the wonders of undreamed sights,
And leads the way to the Wisdom Lights.
...Linda Goodman in Gooberz

Thank you.

me- sept 15, 1958 8:08 Am pittsburgh, PA
eric- july 8, 1965 9:07 PM winchester, TN

I seem to be in the midst of good transit stuff for awhile after 2- 2 1/2 years of Uranus hell

and i want to use it wisely

Hiareth

You asked me to be honest so here goes. If you're in Love with him, then work it out. If not then you might want to think about ending it. You have some tough times ahead of you in the nest few months as far as your love life goes. If you try to work out a stale relationship that you're unsure about, then it'll increase the tenseness you're going to be feeling from the challenging energy you'll be facing. If you are in Love with him and you end it, then you're going to torture yourself and that will make you more tense. If you follow your heart, you're still going to feel the challenging energy BUT it won't be so tough to handle. BTW, this is a karmic test for both of you.

Love and light,
Auriel

------------------
Love, not learning finds the way,
Opens the eyes to the Doors of the Day,
Uncovers the wonders of undreamed sights,
And leads the way to the Wisdom Lights.
...Linda Goodman in Gooberz

I love you for your honesty, and i love that it's been SO direct these past couple weeks. You are FEARLESS and an inspiration

I had the feeling (karmic test) it repeats some of my past issues

and i don't want to live in FEAR- running in this case would be from fear, and staying would bring up fear. I'd rather stay. But i'm not sure he wants to... I guess i can only find out by agreeing to what he needs.. because if he's staying without being sure. It's a prison.

Is he reflecting my fear to me????

hiareth

[This message has been edited by hiareth (edited 03-09-2001).]

Once you learn to get past fear, you can accomplish anything yOu decide to do. It's something many reflect back to us so we can learn and grow.

I guess what you're seeing with me right now is Merc conjunct Merc from the retrograde. Hey, it demolished me in other areas of my life, it had to bring something good to my life, right?

Love and light,
Auriel

------------------
Love, not learning finds the way,
Opens the eyes to the Doors of the Day,
Uncovers the wonders of undreamed sights,
And leads the way to the Wisdom Lights.
...Linda Goodman in Gooberz

I'm not so sure i can handle the sex with other people part. It might be the mature thing to do, but my heart is hurting. Guess I'll sleep on it and ask for guidance.

Thanks for listening and advising

hiareth

Please don't mind me budging in on this. But the last reply from hiareth is hurting me because I can FEEL how sad you must be.
I often wondered about this to. Not that I ever was in this situation that a partner wanting to have sex also with someone else. And I pray that I will never be confronted with such an issue. The reason I am writing to you here is because I have torn feelings about having sex with someone else besides the partner. On one hand I am an avocat of monogamy, I am also a little "old fashioned", on the other hand it's only the FLESH he is after. Maybe one has to learn that we have to strictly devide between Love and Sex. Personally I can't do one without the other. But shouln't it be if you really LOve someone that you only want HIS best, and if he thinks he NEEDS to graze on other pastures that you let him? Please don't think this is my suggestion!

What do you think Auriel and hiareth?

L ght and L ve

GAIA

------------------

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye

If it's ever considered the mature thing to do, I'll be happy to be called childish.

Hiareth, do NOT do anything yOu are uncomfortable with because that's your Higher S-ELF telling you not to do it. You have to listen to that still small voice. You wouldn't be voicing your concerns here either if you didn't want to hear it.

To be honest, I don't know what that's like. When I was dating a bunch of people and not commited to a relationship, I practiced celibacy. You'd say, "yah sure" if you saw my chart but it's true. I have Mars in the 8th in Libra just like he does so don't allow for that excuse, which I know is coming.

My thoughts are with you and I'm sending pink like to comfort you.

Love and light,
Auriel

------------------
Love, not learning finds the way,
Opens the eyes to the Doors of the Day,
Uncovers the wonders of undreamed sights,
And leads the way to the Wisdom Lights.
...Linda Goodman in Gooberz

[This message has been edited by Morning Storm (edited 03-09-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Morning Storm (edited 03-09-2001).]

At the age of eighteen, I spent a few months living with a quite well known literary couple, looking after their kids. I was doing my A'Levels at the time and it was a good way of earning some money AND having somewhere to stay.

One day, we were sitting down to dinner, and the husband proceeded to read out a soon to be published article about 'the chicken ranch'. I don't know if you've heard about this place? It's a brothel, somewhere in America. Anyway, the husband had slept with some of the um, employees of this place, and had a few 'witty and insightful' anecdotes to relay (as if it was all some kind of achievement)
After he'd finished his wife clapped and gushed, 'oh darling, you're so talented and clever'. I was obviously looking rather horrified because she turned to me and said 'what's the problem'. I turned to her and said 'well, your husband is sleeping with other women' They then gave me a half hour lecture on 'narrow-mimded and hypocritical middle class values'.
A year or so later, the husband fell in love with one of his many 'girlfriends'. He is completely faithful to her. I still meet up with his now ex-wife sometimes. She has since re-married and, the best thing about her new husband is 'that he will never be unfaithful'.

People in supposedly committed relationships whom want to sleep with others are NOT IN LOVE!

Hiareth, I really feel for you. You seem to be a passionate person, and you're obviously very talented.
Yes, it may work, but only if you can put your heart in the deep freeze while he 'grows'.

Lots of love and luck
Tanya

Well this morning i figured out my lesson in this is to be open about talking with yr partner about things like sexual feelings for other people, not to have to be the only person in their head. And in the past i think i have made people lie, not be open with me--- because i wasn't open to hearing it, and was suspicious and the forced the issue (infidelity) by my mistrust.

So I think i have to learn how to be open, and honest, and talk and communicate. But I don't think I have to agree with or go along with the behavior.

There's a big difference. And we'll see what happens, but i can't live in fear.

Hiareth

P.S. I have Mars in 8th- Taurus and I was celibate for 2 1/2 years i know it's possible

[This message has been edited by hiareth (edited 03-09-2001).]

Completely agree with you, I don't know at the moment in which house my Mars is but also I am able to be celibate for years. So far 3 years was the longest and if I don't find the ONE I will dye as an almost nun

What I have heard and noticed many, many times is that people don't REALLY talk with each other especially about intimacy. But how can you say you're intimate with each other if you can't even talk about intimacy? I don't mean you with this comment.

Keep talking about it hiareth and do as your heart is telling you.

Kindness

GAIA

------------------

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye

GAIA

------------------

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye

Mars is your energy and your sex drive. My comment to Hiareth about Mars in her mate's 8th house was because Mars in this house shows a very strong sex-drive, especially in Libra because it's the ruler of love and opposes the ruler of Mars. Most people underestimate Mars in Libra but I know better.

Mars in the 5th makes you very creative, especially since it's in Aquarius. It'll give you your own unique style of expression If you have kids, then you'll put a lot of energy into their needs and wants. You might also like dancing and sports.

Hiareth, I hope you're feeling stronger. I've been sending you pink light to help comfort yOu.

Love and light,
Auriel

------------------
Love, not learning finds the way,
Opens the eyes to the Doors of the Day,
Uncovers the wonders of undreamed sights,
And leads the way to the Wisdom Lights.
...Linda Goodman in Gooberz

Thank you for the pink light. Eric and I actually had a very good conversation on Saturday after 2 days of both of us thinking. We agreed to continue.

He said he doesn't want to go out with anyone else. He is just basically scared and wanted an out. Said he can barely handle one relationship. (ditto )

It's funny (??) this all hit just after he asked me to make the relationship more public. By telling more of my friends.

Then on Sunday. I did a reading of my play with some actors and god was I scared! And it made me understand his fright better. When you're saying "it's for real" and "putting it out in the world" it does make it scarier.

I do want to work this out. I think we can both grow a lot in this.

Hiareth

[This message has been edited by hiareth (edited 03-13-2001).]

Love and light,
Auriel

------------------
Love, not learning finds the way,
Opens the eyes to the Doors of the Day,
Uncovers the wonders of undreamed sights,
And leads the way to the Wisdom Lights.
...Linda Goodman in Gooberz

Yes, I did ask for it. But this doesn't mean i'm still not going to have to work on my own issues of jealousy and poessessiveness...

I think I can.. I think I can..

Hiareth

Have a great weekend.

Love and light,
Auriel

------------------
Love, not learning finds the way,
Opens the eyes to the Doors of the Day,
Uncovers the wonders of undreamed sights,
And leads the way to the Wisdom Lights.
...Linda Goodman in Gooberz

Did some serious thinking over the weekend. And remembered the first post i ever sent to you about Eric and i was titled "healing or more?"

So, I have come to the conclusion that we are not the loves of each others lives, though i do love him.

But I feel a need to stay with this, because this "healing" aspect, seems so prevalent to me.... even if the "healing" is painful... i somehow still feel this is for my evolution.

Is that the picture you see looking at our charts together, or am i being delusional? about staying for healing?

Thanks
Hiareth

[This message has been edited by hiareth (edited 03-20-2001).]

I see both Love and healing in your relationship. There are some aspects that are a bit harsh for a long-term relationship but you can overcome them with wisdom and understanding as you go.

Love and light,
Auriel

------------------
and I'm not afraid of Old Man Saturn either
who thinks he's so tough
just because he rules all the Capricorn Goats
and the Hebrews—and Wisdom—and Maturity
...Linda Goodman in Gooberz

Thanks for looking.

At least we're talking even if it's painful at time. My Ex shot down any "unpleasant emotions" and conversations and i was only too willing to go along.

So this is a stretch, but i think it's necessary.

Hiareth

My ex has Moon in the 12th, I know exactly what you mean! Talking sure does help with the growth process, doesn't it?

Love and light,
Auriel

------------------
and I'm not afraid of Old Man Saturn either
who thinks he's so tough
just because he rules all the Capricorn Goats
and the Hebrews—and Wisdom—and Maturity
...Linda Goodman in Gooberz

I'm going to have to look at my exes chart more carefully... all I remember now is we had lots of good personal planet stuff, but not much in 7th and NO SEX aspects.
Found that out a little late

Hiareth