Hi, I just want some unbiased, and by that I mean non-best-friend, input. An Aries and I started dating 4 mo ago. We were so in love we both decided we wanted to get married within the first 2 weeks. Then my Sagittarius nature kicked back in and said whoa. I told him I wanted to but was scared at the same time. It just didn't seem right then. So we decided not to do it. But he was so hurt by that decision that he withdrew a lot from me. I understood and tried to nurse him back into trusting me and believing that I would be around for a while. After 2 mo. I ended up being without a place to live and so I moved in with him since we were always whining about having to be apart. Now, school and work both keep us very busy and I find that we keep having fights every week. But when something is bothering me I state it like that that it bothers me and my emotions. It seems to me that when something bothers him he blows up at me and somehow I'm too blame. He twists words and events. He's always the victim. I'm not perfect but I apologize for whatever fults however unrelated to the argument that he accuses me with and I calm him down and it goes back to normal. Sometimes I can't tell whether he realizes he was wrong to blow up and just wont say it or whether he really believes that he was right and my view on things means nothing to him. Somehow I don't think the later is true. He will drop hints about how he realizes his attitude doesn't always help our relationship but never actually comes out and says "I was wrong to yell at you like that". I feel like he's so scared of being hurt that he just protects himself psychologically in this way.(he was abused as a kid and I think "toughened" himself up) Don't get me wrong there are good things about this relationship but I can't even begin to tell all the plus and minus work going on in my head or this post would be eternal. I can handle the fights I just dont like the fact that they happen cause he pulls back into his shell and starts snarling.

Hi Bluesag1

Welcom to Linda Land!

Wow, that's quite some pickle you've got yourself into. Without looking at anything can you go back and read your own post. It's amazingly past tence? Not sure if you are doing that deliberately or not . I thought I would point it out because it sounds like in your head you've moved on a bit. That's just an observation and clearly you are in emotional turmoil.

To be of any realy help you will need to post both yours and his birth data. Be warned I am a novice but even then before anyone can give you an astrological point of view the need the :

Time of birth
Day month and year of birth
Place of birth

For you both. I'm not really sure you need astrology, you may just want to talk about how you feel and why. I truely hope you begin to feel better about it.

Lov n hugs

Lis

He's Aries, Taurus rising, Aries Moon.

The reason for all the past tense, it's almost as if that was a completely different relationship and that we began this one with the fights. We had a long talk last night which was discouraging. He admits to having pulled back, that I crushed the dreamer who wanted to marry me and now he is just taking it day by day that even though I thought he still considered us engaged (since thats the last thing he told me) now aparantly I'm just a live-in girlfriend like others he's had before. That bothers me - I know its not true - I know he still wants idealy to marry me he's just decided that its not going to happen. He admitted to holding back from me and when I asked him not to he said that part of him wanted to marry me and that's obviously not right so he holds it back and ignores it. I don't think thats healthy - but maybe I'm wrong. I've always wanted to marry him from the beginning and the decision not to get married right away changed things in a way that I have been trying to amend and now I realize I can't I just have to wait and see. Its not an astrological problem but we are both such proud and passionate people that I really think if we could just throw ourselves back into eachother we would be fine. The love is there but there are all these walls of pride.

I don't know what to do anymore except just wait and see if he'll let me back in. It's scary because I feel like I made a mistake and now I'm going to lose him because of it - and that's exactly how I lost my first love. I don't know if my heart can handle it twice. Psychologically, I know I'll be ok - If he doesn't love me enough to try then I'm better off by myself, but its still going to hurt like hell.

Oh Blue...it sounds like you've been throught the ringer. ********Big Hugs*********

As an unbiased observer, it's all gone by very quickly. The honeymoon period is almost over and now you are into the fundementals of dealing with the relationship itself...warts and all.

This all seems to have run gung-ho on you and this chap. The beginings of a relationship are full of over enthusiasim and romantic ideals....6 months later you wake up to dirty underwear and bad habits. Ok slight exageration but I'm sure you can follow my thought

Can you answer me a few things:

What does a commited relationship mean to you?

What is the difference between a commited relationship and a marrage?

If either of you came seriously unstuck in life would you stay together? What would that be like? (unemplyed, pregnant, seriously sick etc etc)

At what point is a realtionship worth leaving...what is acceptable and what is unacceptable. In what way does he come close to these boundtries?

In what way would he answer these questions...where would the diffences lie?

Now all of these are retorical questions...I don't expect answers but they may help you formulate your own rational thoughts regaring the viability of the relationship post the intial romantic hit.

Now sure if this is helping or hindering you....just trying to let you look at your own realtionship.

Love and hugs

Lis