Hi everyone,
Okay, this might be long, but I have a lot of ideas I want to share. I'll try to be coherent, but a great deal of this is still in the embryonic, fragile, unformed state for me on a logical/intellectual level, although my right brain "gets" it implicitly.

I read the following quote in a book recently: "I am the path that I am walking." The idea was that each step we take is a step through our-s-elves. . .Energies we encounter, dreams we have, things we 'imagine', things we actually experience. . . These are not things we are encountering externally, they are aspects of ourselves, already there, just temporarily out of our immediate awareness. Like hearing a song that you haven't heard in years, and realizing that you still know all the words, realizing how much you used to love this song & being transported back in time. . . The things that we encounter as we walk through life are like that. . .Self meeting self. So much, so much is mirroring. But that does not mean that it is all in our "imagination" & is less valid than external occurences-- what happens inside of us, and our minds is very real, the processes we go through. . .we change our own vibrations as we grapple with aspects of ourselves. When our vibrations change, the realities we atrract do as well. Right.

Yesterday, as I was in that half awake state, in between snooze buttons on the alrm clock, I was swept in and out of this vision that I was in a "bed-womb" ( my dreams often give me these cute plays on words. . .) My bed was a womb I could crawl in and out of. . . it was alive-- I felt I needed to stay in it for a few more minutes just to fully heal or restore some part of myself, energetically. When I finally snapped fully into waking consciousness, I was hit with a revelation-- toward the end of my 'dream', I distinctly received the following advice from someone, perhaps my Higher Self "You need to spend as much time up as you do down for optimum balance." I wasn't sure what this meant, and I was puzzled, and a bit frustrated because I felt that if I'd just been able to stay in the dream a bit longer I might have fully understood the teaching. Then it hit me in a wave. . . When we dream, or, when we dream 'consciously', or visualize, or 'hold a thought', if we are able to focus upon it, fill the thought-form with a certain energy, attain just the right frequency ( ie, get our frequency to match the frequency of the thought) then, we can manifest it into reality-- What happens so often is that we scatter our focus. . . I couldn't fully 'download' the teaching from my dream because I was torne between my bed-womb and being (sorry for the punning) born into the daily grind & on time, on time, on time. . . My focus wasn't steady. So stuff merged half-formed. Am I explaining this properly? I hope so.

In another discussion, there is so much talk of 'how do we change our thoughts, how do we focus our intent'. . . very obviously, we will not be able to change our 'minds'just by trying to ordain and wish for things that are not appropriate for us, because our Higher S-elves do know what is and isn't a go. . .when we are wishing to create something that doesn't serve the highest will, we will surely thwart ourselves, and manage, in so doing, to create a very frustrating reality. . .When we are in tune with our path, it becomes easier to navigate, easier to manifest reality. . .The external will always mirror the internal.

The other day I was driving & pondering this, & getting rather doldrum-y because external reality was so 'icky': awful news globally, the city I work in flat & featureless, grey, the day was cloudy, traffic was annoying, I saw downtrodden looking characters on the sidewalks, exhausted drones heading into office buildings so spiritless it all made me want to slam on the brakes & manifest a great big fender bender. But of course I didn't ( although I was manifesting some pretty serious neck knotting tension). I breathed very deeply, and focussed on accessing the locus of joy deep within myself-- reminded myself that I was walking through consensus reality for a reason, reminded myself that there were deep-seated issues within me that led to me wishing to incarnate amid these challenges-- that I could choose to how to respond etc etc. . . immediately, I was flooded with optimism, and I kid you not, the Sun came out just then, for a brief moment-- how's that for external reality mirroring internal reality.

I can't honestly say that I even understand the implications behind all of what I'm writing about today. I just know that something deep, deep within the fabric of my being has increased in awareness over the past year ( greatly when Chiron conjoined my Mercury, Venus & Sun-- & he ain't through with me yet-- this type of spiritual growth, I realize, is very much in keeping with Chiron, controversial as he is, but if we think of him as the Rainbow Bridge enabling us to achieve unity consciousness, then the lessons I have been learning with him in the neighborhood fit in rather well-- oh & these are just the spiritual lessons-- you should see what he's doing to my relationships & relation to my body & physical reality in general. . .oy.)
But, I will never go back to accepting events as something outside of myself that I am not concerned with in any fashion. I truly feel lately, that I am walking through myself-- its a bit of a carnival funhouse at the moment-- so many faces of me. But I do believe that eventually, we do manage to at-one with ourselves, and then a new level of awreness and creation begins. While we are still operating with the illusion of separation, we manifest more separation. . .when unity consciousness is achieved, things will be quite different I imagine. I think the trick right now is to achieve unity consciousness whilst still maintaining individuality. . . talk about a fine balance, huh?

Okay, I think I've said enough-- I hope all of this makes sense to everyone, and that it might spark a debate-- there are so many other subjects & examples I'm itchin' to discuss & spiral on. . . things have truly been speeding up lately, for me. . .

In Light & Curiosity,
Jennifer