Layla,
You expressed that perfectly...eloquently. I was just forming impressions to try and relay what I felt from your words.

"Love cares not if vanquished by Fate".

We carry this Pure Vision of Love within our Hearts......Love that transcends the ordinary......Love that has the ability to create Miracles and Magic. Divine Love that our Soul knows can Be......we seek for, yearn for our whole Lives. Yes, even aware, we trod ahead, knowing of the risks of pain, yet still longing to experience the Purity we hold in our Souls and Hearts. Ready to risk All in pursuit of that Dream.
Are these choices wrong? I don't believe any choice we make in Love is wrong, persay. The outcome may fall short of the Love we hoped would be. Disappointing and heart-breaking it is. But, hoping for and believing in that kind of Love could not be wrong. Always are they experiences that hold opportunities for growth.....and the supreme challenge of still having Faith in Love through it all.

Such experience may harden us.....that is our Choice. Some close off their Hearts forever after, fearing to experience such Pain again. Is it any wonder, for there is no other pain, I believe, that has such ability to destroy us so internally.

"I'm not leaving FairyLand ......
I'm just leaving you."

We learn.....we Move on. Hopefully we may continue to Dream and Strive. Not let Life harden the Innocence we carry within Us. Not allow experience to hold such Power over who we Are and what we know could and should be.
That is the challenge........that is the lesson.

Keep the Vision in your Heart.

For you Virgos out there .....there are practical lessons as well. To realize that such perfection of Love isn't entirely possible in this 3rd dimensional existence here. For we are all Souls held here with our own layers of fear that hold us back from entirely expressing the Divine all the time. None of us are perfect and we all have our own tales that have brought us to where we are. Not all of us hold such romanitic Vision so dear. Patience.....understanding....empathy.....realizing that any bit of Love another can give is to be cherished for what it is and not expected for more.
Another balance that's hard to achieve. Screws us up everytime. The lesson of the Centuar.....balancing the Divine and the Beast within.... our spiritual hopes with our primal realities.

I am by far no expert at this. There have been moments in my own life where I gave up.......succumbed to darkness of Heart. Dark periods of Loss of Faith, where I closed my Heart off in a protective shield, not wanting to let anyone in ever again. And I'm sure I haven't experienced my last just yet. Such goes with Loving and Living.
I read somewhere these "Dark Nights of the Soul" are moments of transition, where our Souls are opening to a newer heightened realm of awareness. Anyway.....it seems that is the moment of opportunity to either transform or withdraw and deny. Our greatest opportunities for growth seem to come in the darkest, most painful hours of our lives.

Sucks, I know.

Lisa

Piscesdreamer~

" Such experience may harden us.....that is our Choice. "

Lisa, you never know when you write a few words as you did in this last post I just read, how it can transform someone in an flash, in a spark, a wink of an eye.

I sincecerely burst into heartfelt tears pushing up and out of my eyes so strongly that it hurt me phisically. Like a hurricane that had built up inside that punched itself out. I still have tears rolling down my eyes as I write to you. A weight has been lifted and my heart has opened while this past week it had shut so tight I was imagining divorce papers (an unreasonable thought thinking back on the insident) But I refused to talk things out with my husband, instead I stubbornly CHOSE to harden my heart.

I have woken up with just those few words I read, and realise that this CHOICE is very unreasonable of me and that I should start looking deeper and farther and make a different CHOICE for it isn't worth it to harden so and let it die.

Flashdance is playing on the radio and as quick as a flash that my heart as awakened again, I will go now to talk to my husband and share my feelings rather than shut him out.

Piscesdreamer, you have great intuition when you said if my dream had anything to do with these posts.

Thanks Lisa, I don;t really know you at all except on line, but I want to hug you for forcing my bottled up emotions out of me. Isn't it amazing how simple words simply writen can mean such a great deal to someone else.

That was beautiful, Lisa.

---

There was a lady I once knew,
She had almond eyes and breath that smelled of garlic,
We had so many things to do,
And she wondered if it was the
Similarities or differences
That kept us in each others' arms,
And then she always told me
I could fly -
If I'd try.

There was some magic in her eyes,
Her vegetables were always burning,
She always listened to my cries,
And if I should live to be
A million years of age
There wouldn't be another lover
Who could give me what she did,
She went away -
It's okay.

I'm not an easy man to understand
But I guess nobody really is
They call me the destroyer
I just call myself the compost man

I met her sitting in a garden one day
As I staggered out of a bar
And it isn't every day you run into somebody
Who can take you for what you are.

I was the force, she was the form
We gave our love eternally
The best lovers, they say, are midwives
To the birth of each other getting free.

But I tell you, my friend, it's not easy to be
So free that you can just walk away
From a cosmic lady, saying "See you some day
In some truck stop on the great highway."

But I wouldn't trade my time with her
For anything on this Earth,
And I can't regret that she's gone away,
'Cause the death is contained in the birth.

I shed a tear now and again,
When I see a graceful ballerina dancing,
But it's a happy kind of pain,
Cause there isn't any weather that can
Take away the sunny days
She gave me, and my love is all
Around her and it's always
Gonna stay -
Not fade away.

Love,
Greg

Lo and Behold, a poem from Greg! I believe this is the first seed you've planted here on lover's garden Greg and it was beautiful, did you write it? Really beautiful!

"Memories"

It's been a while
perhaps too long
since I've visited
Lover's garden
or heard any bird song

It seems this illusion called time
has taken me for a ride
away from things I love
melodies of long ago
words I once read in Gooberz
memories I forced to let go

It's been an eternity
but here I am again
in a Lover's Garden
waiting for a stormy rain
to come pouring
I'll be waiting arms wide open
my face raised to feel
it wash over me
and drawn what I've become

A woman, no longer in touch
with the little girl inside
who once wrote songs
on her old guitar
The one who saw wonder
in every page
of Gooberz

It seems this illusion called time
has taken me for a ride
away from things I love
away from the me of me

Wow, Lisa, that was really amazing what you wrote...I think you were just a vessel for a very powerful message that it seems a few of us here needed to hear.
It couldn;t have more in line with what's going on in my heart right now, and as I read it, with the window open and the wind blowing the papers around on my desk, I look down and my astrologer's daily planner has flipped open to a beautiful image of Virgo with a light emanating from her heart, at home in nature. It's entitled "Open your heart". Indeed. Think the universe wants to relay something to me?
I also really took to HEART what you said about Virgo's need to remember our journey here on Earth is not one of total perfection, that no one is capable of living up to or acheiving that state of 'pure divinity' we know exists inside of us all the time. We are bound to make mistakes and act from a place of fear instead of from a place of love sometimes. (Very hard for me - I struggle with this addiction to perfection) But, yes, we are given that choice - and the more we allow our hearts to open, to let our guard down and let love flow through, taking the risk of losing that vision, the more I think we evolve. AS you said, it's in those moments of transition, that provide us with the opportunity to grow. Like rings on a tree that are expanding outward - never going back to where it was before, but a shifting to an entirely new level of existence. That's sort of what I'm getting from your words.
Thank you.

Dad, that song sounds very familiar to me...I know must've heard it a long time ago. Is it about who I think it is? (The breath smelling of garlic bit kind of gives it away ) That's interesting about Grandmama and the Virgo/Scorpio family influences. It would seem that we are indeed a group of traveling connected souls, being reborn again and again together. I sometimes feel her prescence around me. Now that I am older, I relate very much to her essence I felt from her when I was little. Wasn't it her birthday yesterday? Happy Birthday Grandmama.

Much love,
Layla

Yes, sweetie, that song was about your Mom, I'm sure you must have heard me sing it when you were little.

Little as in:


Heh, heh. Time flies when you're having fun!

Grandmama's birthday is the 6th. I see a lot of her in you. You know, don't you, that she left home young to be a dancer in New York City?

Love,
Dad

That was a beautiful poem Natalie.

It's a funny thing, time ... it takes you away, but then it brings you back.

Love,
Greg

Oh, geez...where did you drag that picture up from, dad? Look at that hair! Just awful. Can you believe that little thing is turning 25 in a couple weeks? You look exactly the same!! Let's hope that's something that runs in the fam.
Thank you for sharing...and the song, too. It touched me to see that insight, now.

, me

I don't know if this counts, but this was something I wrote last summer. It is a love poem, of sorts. But it's also very sad (everything I write is), so be warned.


What am I to do? I lost myself so long ago
And still I see your smile that penetrates me to my inner core
My inner workings where some light remains
That I've not yet depleted
In my desperate attempts to find something with meaning.
Something in your voice, your lovely voice,
Reminds me all's not lost
While creatures hiding in my midnight tell me
"Yes it surely is."
The forces of my darkness rally everything they have
To poison everything between us,
For they see what we could have.
They do not want me to connect with other human beings;
I am to be locked, imprisoned, in a cage of my own making.
Long ago, when they first stole me, they were confident
But now they fear that I don't fear the darkness, for it's where I've lived so long.

Nothing in this world can save me.
Nothing in life has meaning.
No one around me can or will reach me.
I am alone
And aching.

Thinking of you drives me onward, but for what?
A missed chance, a blockage, an obstacle between us.

In my darkest hours of my desperate longings
I reach my hand out, and I pull back nothing.
Naught but the cold winter wind's ever touched me.
I've learned to embrace her, she's my one and only.
Treat me as such, when you see me again,
Don't venture too close, dear, my coldness might freeze you.
My darling, I live in the darkness, you live in the light.
Though we're separate, your soul shines through my endless night.

Nice poem, Rusty, and not as sad as you say. You certainly fit right in with the Romantics.

Quote:

---

The forces of my darkness rally everything they have
To poison everything between us,
For they see what we could have.

---

If all were lost, that would have been past perfect tense, instead of present! There's a bit of Invictus in there:

Quote:

---

"Under the bludgeonings of chance,
My head is bloody, but unbowed."

---

Love,
Greg

I hope you were able to work things out, Natalie.

You know.....
it wasn't days after my post here on Trust that events happened to turn my world around. Funny how things happen like that. Not up to going into the whole sordid tale, but basically people I knew were exposed for who they really were. I saw glimpses into the most base side of human nature......violent abuse, psychotic episodes, lies. These people I thought were my friends, exposed for their true selves. And then, to think of my words here......ha. What little I know.
Friendships were shattered and now I find myself trying once again to figure out a way to somehow live a life in this world with a vulnerable heart. And wondering just why people are the way they are. How they can do the things they do to each other.

Layla, I remembered a poem from years ago, triggered in memory from your words:

New Breeze

The first time I saw you
walk away
I wanted to see you again.
I always seem to love the impossible.
Seasons will come and go
and my love
will lead no where,
for you won't follow.
I know this
even though we've just begun.
So many lovers have
come and gone with the wind
and I don't search
out the wind.
I wait for another breeze
that's strong enough
to pass me by.

Just posting that to show you that I understand what you mean.......how even totally conscious of what we are doing, we can still make the same mistakes. That was written long ago....before my husband, but it took me years of being blown away to finally let some wind stay with me.

Greg and Rusty, very cool poems. Glad you shared.
And that picture is so very sweet.

Lisa

That was a beautiful poem...I like the imagery of relating love to a breeze.

Here's one that came to mind on this theme...

Waking dreams of dark desires and dramatic times
Dancing on my heart, you turn my insides out
Tuning into your rhythm, your soul, and what you call home
I'm already gone.
Alive again, running at lightning speed
Each breath tells a story
A journey of thought that is with you always
Forsaking calm clarity, or
moving closer to the truth of my being
You are my karma
The soul my spirit seeks
I won't give you everythng
I won't fall apart without you
I can carry the wieght of my own dark instinct
But you, you must look deeply inside me
and accept what you see.

(Several months later in parenthesis, I scribbled 'you stupid fool'- referring to myself!) I thought that was fitting, but there's a deeper pattern that starts to emerge as these expereinces start to build up on you, I guess. It's starting to make some kind of sense to me now - and I look forward to when this starry-eyed girl who gets so easily swept away by a strong wind carrying cloudy visions of fairy-tale love is grounded enough in herself to recognize and keep a gentle, loving breeze when it comes along.

, Layla

Ah geez, Lisa, I know first hand about friendships shattered and sometimes I blame my own naiveté. I TRUST my friends would be around til my old age but somehow they either fade away into their own world or seriously turn against me like a vicious dog.

Kabbalah teaches that nothing happens suddenly, and that all things like a seed are planted and slowly grow. And let me tell you when I truly make an effort to look back, I can see the signs of anemocity. The WHY however leaves me bewildered. If anything I TRUST friends to know me well enough but it turns out they either pretended or simply didn't care. I am in fact talking about one particualr case in my own experience and I was shoked, after 6 years of "what I believed was a friendship" poof! But I had picked up on signs that this person had a problem but didn't value the friendship enough or at all to want to talk about it.

You know we all have our days, and we can all make mistakes and sometimes we're just down right misunderstood (at least I feel that way) but in real friendships, and thank god I have those kinds too, you talk about things, you make up and move on... but others hit you when you least expect it. This is why I appreciate straight forward people, if they have a problem with anything you say or did (sometimes we say and do things that might offend even though unintentional) they just let you have it, they tell you straight up, rather than pput a fake smile and keep it in letting it turn into poison and ending up in a shattered friendship. Yup, as blunt and honest as I can be, I expect the same. That way all is out in the open, and if there are any issues between people, they are resolved.

Having said that, this is why I was in a different place last week, because I had gone contrary to my nature and had shut down but after that post you wrote, I spoke with my husband and we had it out then made up, understanding each other's views and no longer having any resentment.


"The Storm"

Walking down a dusty path
So dry, I feel my skin crack
The sun is burning my eyes
and I cannot see the reason why
I should go on....

I fall, I crawl, my knees bleed
My hands are covered in dirt
As I come across a tiny seed
peaking thru the thristy earth
I place it into my palm
and close my eyes
to pray for water to fall
and save us both

"your prayers are
left unanswered" said the man
Oh yes that man who
suddenly appeared before me
He wares a dark cloak
and a visious grin
Illusion I thought
he's just an illusion

I chose not to fear and TRUST
I closed my eyes again
and soon came rain
a few crystiline drops
so beautiful so fresh
then the heavens opened
and we both were blessed
it poured, with thunders
and lightning, it poured
and drowned the years
of drought in my heart

Refreshed and strong, I stood
the seed now burried deep
The storm had come and gone
to make all things new again!

Beautiful poems once again.

Thank you for your insights, Rachel. Unfortionately all along there has been deception and dishonesty, so directness and talking things out would probably lead me no where but to more lies in this case.

But...do things really happen in life for no reason? Or do we take it as a time to look deeper into the karmic law of attraction...........of where and how we might ultimately reap whatever is sown? What part we have played in it all. Are there ever really victims?
Just pondering this lately.

The starry-eyed girl never goes away, Layla.
All hope you find fulfillment on your journey.

Lisa