Oh I had to laugh....I originally had an appt. that would have had me on the freeway...but plans changed...so I ran a quick errand and came back home.

If you are going to lose your brakes....losing them in your own driveway is about as safe as you can get.

My guy came and got the van....she's back in the garage with 2 new brake lines and brakes that actually stop the vehicle.

It seems like that's how everything is right now...1 thing after another.

Ok....you girls might have just joined the prayer team for our mortgage crisis....but you are invited to the celebration party!

I came home from the Dr. today to an email from Amanda.

Amanda is the young lady who was assigned to us last October by Bank of Americas' home loan servicing/modification dept.

We've done modification 2 times.....once with a bunch of idiots and once with Amanda.

The local bank mgr explained to me that BOA had been targeted by the current administration for having f****d up the modifications so badly that 94% of their modifications were being denied.

A number backed by Dave Ramsey.

When we went through the original modification in 2010....it was a freakin nightmare. It actually started it in the spring 2009...and it took until Sept 2010 to 'modify' the loan by pennies.

We did our best, but there was too much debt that was not addressed...if we paid our bills, we could not make the mortgage, and if we paid the mortgage......etc.

Dell computers actually changed everything....

I battled them for months over a payoff plan. They were total assholes.

Then I decided to be THEE Total Asshole and went off unevolved Virgo List Style, and really made things worse. They took every dime we had. They took our savings, our checking...they took my kids money too.

It was sorting that mess out with the mgr. at our local BOA branch....that not only helped us to decide to try and modify the mortgage again but it also lit a fire under my ass to address The Big 8.

The Big 8 are the 8 accounts/debts that received no money from 1/09 until 11/11.

The Mgr., Jennifer said that that BOA had gotten it together and that we would be assigned 1 person to walk with us through the process.
In other words, someone you can develope a relationship with.

The big crash hit the country in '09....but we had our own in 07...the big crash just made it worse.

Marks income dropped really hard....mine stopped all together.

We took a hit of almost 2K a month by the end of 2009.

To make things more complicated and worse, before our crash, we put a new roof on the house...we tapped our equity to do that.....that raised our payment by $105.00...do-able before the crash.

This house has been in foreclosure 3 times since 2008.

My plead in the 'new process' was the drop in income in cj. with the fraud of Countrywide.

We were with National City when things started going bad. They sold us to Countrywide 3-4 months before CWide went bellyup.

BOA took over Cwide...and when our numbers arrived at BOA, our mortgage was no longer + just the new numbers after the roof....it was $250.00 more beyond that $105.00!

You would not believe how much time I have spent on hold in the last 4 years....time that could have been used for say.....yoga.....I miss my yoga.

No matter who you talked to, you gave them the same stuff.....we sent in the same forms 2 times a month. We sent them in the fedex envelope they provided....we faxed...in later months we did both.
Mark and I heard their script so many times, we would point out when they skipped a line....and they did!

We filled 5 steno pads with notes of each conversation.

I had people tell me we had the wrong fax number....that they don't work with fedex......'please re-send'

What they try to do is wear you down......so that you give up and then everything you owe is due NOW.

I thank God for Dave Ramsey who kept me focused.

Well, Jennifer told the truth and Amanda walked with us through every step, she acknowledged the odd ball income we have because of the rink, she saw the numbers and how they changed for no reason....she saw how hard we fought thru the first 2 forclosures....

Today, Amanda told me that our modification has been approved.

As of March 1st....our mortgage will be $335.00 less than the fraud amount that arrived at BOA.

That's better than the amount after the new roof!

What's even better is that we have been preparing for this to go nowhere....to either reinstate the current loan which means $$$$ Right Now, or to pay to move. So I already have $$$ in place.

I'm sure it was helped along by the fact that the USA Gov. sued BOA/CWide....and we received a settlement check....less than a $100.00....and not enough to even feed a family of 4 for a week.....certainly not enough to help anyone who lost their home.....but it proved that even the Feds recognized us as victims of the CWide Fraud.

All that aside.....now you girls have the big info (if not the details I could give) on 1 situation that has taken me to my knees.

I know a lot of people are uptight about Saturn rx.....but from the start of it, I kept thinking how it COULD right Wrongs.

With the whole Uranus Pluto thing going on, I know it's a rough time to sign any contracts.....but you know what?

My brakes Could have gone out on the freeway.....instead it happened in my driveway AND I missed the bird.

Everything keeps going wrong.....but everytime there is a blessing in it.

The last 4 years have been a nightmare.......just a nightmare...

It is'nt just about where you live.....it's the lilacs I planted when I was pregnant for Andrea.....baby lilacs of the bushes my Mom planted around the rink when she was pg for me....

It's the hummingbird/butterfly garden that started as a tuft of daffodiles 20 years ago, that now is my Feng Shui dragon...and memory garden to Marty and Todd.

It's a terrible feeling to walk that garden and wonder what you can dig up to take with you.

There are many things I still have yet to fix....but this one....this one.....this was won by prayer, white light....FAITH...Honesty, Integrity, Truth,

And also by giving! !!

Dave Ramsey says a clenched fist does not let any $$$ slip away from you.....but it does'nt let any $$$ in either.

And money is fluid....

So in Faith, I began paying The Big 8....even tho' we could not afford it.

In Faith, I squirreled away $$$ to reinstate or relocate.

In Faith....when I would picture digging up plants and packing my books...what I would throw out...what I would keep if we had to move....I would shake that off and start thanking God, His Son, the Arch Angels, All of my Spirit Guides, My Mom & Dad and my Guardian Angels for helping me save my house.

The money appeared. Mark got 2 raises and a promotion....people started skating like crazy and I was able to not only pay myself a bit, but also catch up on back pay.....the greenhouse $$$ is just around the corner....

I learned to Have Faith....to Give even when I need to receive, and to care for others when I am a whisker breath from needing the same care I am giving.

You guys witnessed my emotional meltdown before the physical meltdown.

I stayed away because of a sense of......I guess hopelessness.

You have rallyed around me in the last few days.....and I think....Kitty....if you did not get 'warning lamps' before this last few weeks....it shows how much I closed myself off from all of you. Because, I have been 'in trouble' for a while.

To me....what I have just written is a tiny bit of what has been going on.....to all of you, it might be a book......

But as for the last few days.....being back here again....

I had no idea how alone I felt until I began to open up to all of you again.



I had to start a FB pg for myself, because I needed to have one for the rink...and it was the best way to learn how to handle FB.

We have to be so 'presented' on FB....it is truly a relief to just be me.

I love you all.....and girls, get ready.

I'm back.

And I've learned a lot in the last few years.

OK....that's the mortgage update......I can't tell you how tired I am from writing that out.......

Dani, you and Mark sure have been through hell and back

The theme I noticed throughout your posts, have been the WE. You and Mark, as a united team, have defeated the strikes life has dealt you.

Together in Faith, you two have accomplished what has torn entire families down and squashed them.

You both have my undying respect and gratitude. Both for staying the course in Faith and Love and showing how it IS done.

Keep strong, carry the love and faith and thumb your nose at what some call "defeat"

As alway with , juni

Hi Dani dear,

I came here this morning to offer my prayers and to send you lots of Love, Light and positive visualizations for tomorrow to go so well for you and everything to work out beautifully. And then I see your celebration post today and am so happy and relieved to be able to celebrate along with you instead. You kept the faith and you were blessed. I am so full of joy for you and your family right now. And so, so glad that you are back. You have been missed so, so much. Love, love, love you!

(((Hugs))), Dani.

Well done!

To tell the truth... not having gotten the warning lamps sooner might as well have been due to my own situation. I was in hospital from mid Oct till beginning of Dec, my Granny who kind of raised me is dying slowly and the hard way of liver cancer after having had a stroke, my father's bro died from a brain tumor last March, and so on and so forth... in truth, Dani, I sometimes didn't know what just was the warning for the next situation and what was paranoia...
So I sometimes just started to block what I felt for pure fear of even more...
Yet, as you said as well...it was faith, humility, prayer, gratitude and grace which kept me going on.
But I had not much energy left for psychic flashy ties... I was too busy just doing a day at a time.
But when the calendar changed to 2012, I became quieter and could "tune in" again.
Dancing for life, my dear!

Kitty

The universe has your back, Dani. always.
Even if everything (seemed to) fall away,
it still would.

But I'm glad it didn't.

Kitty ~

I think we went to hell and back more than once!

As for the We....yes.....and no.

Mark will run from the hashing out of numbers any time he has a chance.

But he did work his bloomin arse off......

He got a raise a work and at his church job and he does tons of 'odd job' type stuff for seniors at our church.

Plus I put him to work at the rink sometimes too and he gets paid for all of it.

But to get him to sit down and say, 'ok this guy gets $5.00 and this guy gets $8.00...and this guy get's $10.00'......no, I'm on my own.

On one hand, I feel like 'Hell no! Look at the mess I've made of this!'...on the other...'hey man, we pulled it out of foreclosure 3 times! We took on BOA and won!'

But I WILL Keep the Faith.

I don't know why it bothers me that I have to make these choices alone....at the rink, my sis does what she's good at, and I do what I am good at and no one says 'hey I had to do this alone.' So really...what's my problem?
hhmp. Maybe just fear.

Man Juni, it's nice to talk to you again!

Thank you my Dear Dear Venus!

I have to start putting back in my life, that which feeds my soul.

Several times now, I popped in with the best of intentions to stay after going MIA.

Talking with all of you again, feeling the love I did'nt realize I was missing..... I need to stay.

CE has too many that have disappeared. We all know we are in for big changes and we need each other.



I love all of you so much!

Kitty,

So we both closed off eh?

It might be that if we started asking around, we'd find we're not the only ones who felt the psychic and spiritual repression and need to 'go under'.

And if you had health issues too......oh man...it becomes about survival when you're sick!

"I sometimes didn't know what just was the warning for the next situation and what was paranoia...
So I sometimes just started to block what I felt for pure fear of even more..."

Yeppers! I got so I did'nt even want to touch people.

There was'nt time to do yoga, or meditate....and my prayers were on the run.

The late night fear that would wake me and the angry, hatefilled thoughts that would leave me tired the next day...

I was always happy for the Sun.
In the sunshine, I could shake all that...

When you are dealing with what you've been going through, you've got to stay focused.

And baby, I shut myself down. You could'nt have read me from the next room. I would not have allowed it. My guard slipped sometimes, but in too many directions.....I needed to protect my head and my heart.

And I totally agree with the turn into 2012! That's how I've felt too!

Is it the Uranus/Pluto thing? Maybe Neptune......It feels more Neptune-ish to me...

I have welcomed the Saturn Rx...I might regret that truth later, but right now, I say 'bring it...I ain't a skeered'.

But yes, a sense of calm has come over me since 2012, even facing this mortgage thing.

Like flipping the page of the appointment book, straightening your bra straps and saying "Next?" With a calm, cool and collected feeling that's real, not put on for an audience.

I'm sorry hon, for all the losses and stress you've been through. And I'll put your Grandmommy in my prayers.

Dani

Lisa. Dear Dear Lisa.


&

Dani,
I SO know what you mean with closing off and the guard and the focus. Knew you'd understand.
Hey, I'm soooo happy to read you and Lisa again.
Anybody in for a group hug?

Kitty

I am!!!!



I feel better just being here again.

So do I, Dani.


Kitty

Joining in the group hug and sharing the Love with you beautiful and amazing 's You are so right Dani, we do need each other more than ever now. I'm so glad you, Kitty, Moonflower & Maria (and any others I may have missed) have re-appeared and are hopefully here to stay. I hope some of the others who haven't visited in a long while feel the Love and return as well.

Awww.

This is wonderful!

Work was intense this week.....but I MADE time to come here for a bit tonight.

And I'm So glad I did!

Venus and Jup,and the Moon are brilliant tonight here....

Even Mark said "Wow. That's awesome!"....I (of course) 'splained..."That's Venus, that's Jupiter....the Moon is in Taurus."....he said it did'nt matter what the names were, it was beautiful.

We'll keep this going now....as Raffiki said in The Lion King,


"It is time."

And while we're all gathered, my gut still twists when I think of Dar.

Does anybody know anything about him?



Dani

I get a big smile when I think of Darwin. I'll bet we'll see him soon. I don't understand the gut twist?

Maria

Never heard anything from him, Dani, sorry. We weren't so close anyway, but no, no sign.

Anyone heard from Suchi, Terri and Steph?
Love,
Kitty

Hey Dani

So glad you made it back around... it only took a couple of nudges. And it looks like you are staying around. I'm so happy!

No Darwin yet... humm... his ears should be buzzing! I sure hope he's OK. When is the last time anyone talked to him?

Hi Kitty!

I've only seen Terri, Suchi & Steph on facebook. But Steph's rarely ever on. She had a baby and has been busy being a new mommy I guess. I've tried encouraging the others over in the past, but haven't had much luck. Maybe with everyone else coming around they will too.

I don't know 'Ria....it just does.

I've got Terri and Suchi on FB too...but not Steph.

I did'nt know she had a baby!