How've you been?

So Dar has'nt been here either??? That



I hope he's ok too....


....and dealing with John and Jane Public right now is like having 8 balls in the air and 1 racket in the game.

After a while, you just swat anything that moves......

I've missed you too.

Venus...it is SO nice to hear from you!

You're right about the love.....how could I have forgotten?

You're also right that we chose to be here at this time in this place for a reason.....sometimes those in me keep me swinging back and forth between despair and faith.

One thing I know I have to do, in spite of all my Saturn Pluto dances, I simply must lean on my Pluto/Pluto trine.

I am facing big changes right now......and the only way they are going to come out all right is if I do them for the right reasons....part of that is service to others.

I'm just not particularly looking forward to it.

Because they are sweeping changes...in all directions....I have to change tracks to stay on the same train...and we Virgos just love unscheduled stops.

Plus, I'm a little pissed off about it too...well..not a little...a lot.

But I'll be ok....so far so good anyway.....

And it's fun to play with all the icons again...I missed those too!



Dani

And Carrie...it felt funny after all these years calling you by your user name.....

Dani

Lisa,

that song!

Hi Dani,

Oh boy oh boy do I know what you mean about those Libran scales. All too well. I'm so happy to see yours are swaying back toward a more even keel. Sending you great big hugs and huge gobs of strength to continue hanging in there and through those rough transits.

Yes! Do lean on that Pluto trine. The service to others, with yours being in Virgo, surely does sound like the way to go! I bet you'll find many blessing by taking that route.

Maybe now that Mars is moving away from that cardinal Cross the anger you're experiencing over those sweeping changes life is asking you to make will begin to dissipate. I sure hope so. Wishing you all the very best.



PS. I think you'd be great at talk radio! Send me a link if you ever do it! I'll definitely be one of your listeners.

Greetings

Radio is just the career for a Virgo ! It is an excellent way to Serve your fellow beings.



This listener is eager for the bimp mom to be pulled out of the closet and examined... do I need to start the new post or is this hint enough

It is wonderful to see you finding those scales and working through this daily grind we call earth school

hugs, juni

Hi Hon!

Funny you should mention Mars....my natal is 29* Gemini, and with all the rest of the aspects, this was a rough one to keep my mouth shut through.....

And yes, it took a while, but I finally felt the shift, and it let me breath a bit.

Thanks for the (((HUGS)))! Dani

Hi Juni Dear!

Yes, I'll tell you all about The Bimps....even how to spot them in crowds.

In fact this is probably the only safe place to share it!

But you know how I am about sharing all the details, and it's going to take a bit of time to type out.

But I promise, I'll write it soon!

That said, I sing early in the morning, so for now....

You! Dani

I had forgotten about that song,
til I heard it recently on the radio
and I thought of you while listening.


Do Bimps by any chance have cell phones
attached permantly to their ear,
in which they seek constant advice
from other Bimps on how to run every
aspect of their lives,
from which shampoo to buy to color of lipstick
to wear? (while their crying children
are ignored while they talk on the phone?)
These are the moms I observe at work, anyway.

That is indeeeeed, one of the visual qualities easily identified in a crowd, preferably from a distance.

AKA: Group Bimps

Sometimes referred to as a "Group Bimp Situation" depending on the environment.

"Group Bimp Situation"

crazy for sure I bet,
when it escalates to that.

is biz still going well at the Rink?

Maddie is having her birthday party
at our local rink...
the kids are all geeked about that.
Maddie is almost as tall as me now
and so are my girls.


I hope you're doing well these days.

Good Day Searching.

This song is for you my dear.....

At This Point In My Life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4mi5AJEX9M&feature=related

I was thinking about you today

Yeah, I hear ya Dani...

I definitely have been tested the past couple of months. Interestingly, the last week or so, things have died down a bit. A coworker came into my office and gave me a fortune cookie for no particular reason, and the fortune said: "Rough times are now behind you." Call me superstitious, but I hope it's correct. I'm tired.

Anyway, I hope things are going a bit better for you as well. It's good to hear from you. Motivate- onwards and upwards, eh?

Dani (((((((((HUG)))))))))))

Having not been in here for ages, either. Know what keeps me up these days? One sentence coming up again and again: "Don't forget to ask for grace."
It can be done with grace, Darling, whatever comes it can be done WITH grace, we don't have to muster (and to master) all these tests alone.
Been wondering 'bout Courtney lately, having my Sun in the same place I wonder how's she's keeping on to keep on.
Geez, Dani, how long has it been we talked?
I had you A LOT on my mind the last three weeks which was in fact the main reason to come back and have a look.
I didn't like the feeling I had... and this little normally optimistic Sag with Libra ASC and Moon who I am is worrying right now if the "Get back in and look for Dani" has not been a call for help.
C'mon in and let's laugh it all away.
And if all else fails... my old addy is still working - you know where to find me if you wish.
((((((HUGS))))))
Kitty

Kitty

Having been gone a few weeks myself,
I'm so glad in catching up round here
I thought to go further a couple of pages
and see you!
I would have regretted to have missed
your post
and to have lost this opportunity to tell
You hello...
as well as how much you are Loved.
(have always been...through miles and years
and fiery reactions...
the feelings of knowing, caring and fondness
never faded )

I hope you see this
and haven't sailed away yet.

So good to see You and hear you're
doing alright.

Lisa

And now a big {{{LOVE BUMP}}}
for our Dear Dani

If your feelings are true, Kitty,
I pray she hears your call.
And if she's shy to come here,
I hope she contacts you...

I hope she always remembers how
much she is Loved around here

and especially in here >>>

Ok Girls. I know this is where I am supposed to respond.
Look....I had a tough time even choosing an icon!
I just re-read all of the posts from when I started this thread a year ago (!!!????!A year ago??? Really?)
And I am embarrassed I carried on so.
I'm quite closed off right now.
Part of me wants to share all, part of me is too tired.
That's all I've got right now.
I think I'm ok.
I am very grateful for your love.
That's it.
Has anyone heard from Dar?

Searching,

Oooh my goosh did you even notice the TIME of your post here............ 11:11pm


Need I say more

Just saying

Lisa,
no I haven't sailed away. I even saw your response before Dani had answered. But I came back from a jobwise event of two days and I didn't want to do more than just smile in that moment I read you.
Dani... I'm not convinced. This ain't the type of answer which quietens a Saggy and you know that well enough.
If you need me, you know where to find me, that's all I'm gonna say for now.
((( HUG)))
Kitty

Dani, Kitty

"I had a tough enough time choosing an icon!"

lol. damn, do I know that feeling.


What's inside is yours,special and sacred, Dani.
I entirely respect that.
If you're not feeling it,
then that's for a reason.
It's ok. Everything happens as its meant to,
in it's right time.
We can't be late.
We're always right on time.

(though the world might try to make
us doubt even our selves)

Never, ever should we feel bad
for 'not saying enough'
or 'saying too much'.
Because both of those things are really
impossible.
I want you both to know that the connection
I feel to you is beyond
all that stuff...
beyond this place, time,
circumstance, whatever.

To me, the fullness of a silent smile
has immediately filled years.


I've felt closed off myself for a long time.
I can't tell you how many times I've come here
and went to write but logged off instead.
Or couldn't even get beyond picking an icon.

The email I wrote the other day...
it had been SO long since I wrote an email
that I had entirely forgotten how to navigate
hotmail. Seriously.
I don't do email at all anymore.
This is the only place I ever write on the web.
And that's sporadic.

At times, little mind would come in
and oh, the bad feelings it would conjure
(or try to).
Belittlement, guilt, etc.
I see it all now for what it truly is,
separate from what's important and real.
I have faith now that the quiet time was timely
and needed. Right on time.

For it brought me to here and now,
this openness I feel.

Someone once said to me,
"if you're going to assume anything,
then the first thing you should always assume
is that whatever I say to you is
coming from love.".

I thought on that periodically...
it never left me.
Reflecting on it...the prodoundity of it coming to me
at pertinent times...
boy it reveals a lot of the silly mind tricks
we play upon ourselves.
I had no idea all of the bullsh*t I was putting
myself through.

Look at the world around you and most of the misery
that is out there is because we are most willing
to assume the worst about one another.
Rather than to consider love...and pure intent.

Anyway...
I had been thinking of that lately
and felt to share.

Hi Solane....no I did not notice the 11:11.
But I'm not surprised. They took a break in my world for a few years, but in recent months 11:11 has been appearing again.

It's not my focus right now, but it is nice to have it popping up again. I take it as a deep breath and an "OK."

Hi Kitty.

It's not about it being inside, nor even (any longer) self doubt and the frustrations that go along with it in ones soul.

(I just took a moment to write to Dar...I have 2 old addys but I don't know if they are any good...he's been on my mind a lot, along with you and Lisa....it's bugging me....)

As for saying too much......I think it was tacky as hell of me, to be gone from here for so long, then show up and dump all over with no explaination, nor time to spare to stay and share....or at least hit it once a week.

And I know all of you will say it's fine, needed, that's what we're here for...etc.

And yes, that's true....but that was far more psychic vampire than anything else, and I seriously dislike it when people in my world seek me out to do that to me....and they do.

Yes, Yes, 'protect myself'.....I do the best I can....but it's not always as strong as it should be... I am tired and bit overwhelmed by how much of it I am getting these days. It would be easier if I did'nt give a damn.

So for me to flip those roles and be the 'dumpee' is unacceptable to me.

Especially here of all places.

Yes, Mark and I have a lot going on....and some of it really hurts. He and I are strong...we're fine!

One situation in particular leaves a cloud hanging over everything else that is challenging...and the challenging crap that is happening is um.....not really described by the word 'challenging'.

It's not that I don't want to share, it's that all of this has been unfolding for over 4 years, with the peak explosion happening in March of 2010.

It would take so long to explain it all.....and I mentally and physically crash just even trying to think of how to start....

Come to think of it....I've never written it all out...even to myself. Libra flip that and add, 'writing brought about the damn situation in the first place', so that kind of takes the joy out of writing about it......

I don't mean to be so cryptic, it's just too too much to do the details that I do so well.

So here's a summary, the first being the worst, the rest in no particular order.

Since our oldest son married, he has cut ties with his mom and dad, and with rage and anger to me, his step mother.

His then, wife to be, sat at our Easter Dinner table in 2008 and said "He'll do what I tell him."...and indeed he does.

I understand that at this time, he is thinking with the wrong part of his anatomy...and that until he gets past that and sees his father, his mother and his stepmother thru' his own eyes...this is not going anywhere.

I have many many many many many..
thoughts, evaluations, readings and psychic intuitions in regards to our daughter-in -law.

..............

ok...can NOT type what all just went thru my head.

I need to sleep tonight, and if I start listing off those labels....I won't.

Thing 2 and etc.

Our home is in forclosure again.....I think we'll be ok, but it's hard to not be scared.

We were caught up in the middle of the Countrywide meltdown and fraud. The one thing that has saved us so far (this time) is that we are recognized by the feds as victims of Countrywide...it was a risk to go back into the modification, but it was the only way to prove the fraud.

They might sell my house out from under us Thursday 2/9.
2/9/12 is a 5.....we'll see.

I've got a good team....and we have truth on our side....but it's BOA man.....they are pure evil.

Business has really turned around....I am very proud of the work we are doing.
That said..we're still catching up the bills of the crash.

March is critical to make the 2009 taxes.

I've had a lot of health issues come up in the past few years...and I'm not happy about it.

My oldest daughter....has talked my youngest daughter into auditioning for a theatre school in Conn.

While I am proud of the growth of the oldest in the last few years, most of her approach to life is....well...I don't think honest. She's 26 now...and that Saturn return will begin next year....if there's going to be another tidal wave involving Joanne, I'd prefer she leave Courtney out of it.

Court is a different kid.....she'a late bloomer...One minute ,she's years beyond her peers, with that Sag Sun..Aqua Moon.....the next she's 12, asking me questions a 12 yr old would ask.... ...and she's SO literal...that Scorp asc shines...

Just once, it would be cool if I could send a child into the world prepared for it.

And I am an amazing Mom in comparison to the Bimp Moms I see at the rink..oh my stars what a mess we'll all have when Those kids hit the work force!
At least we can count on them being job security for all of us.

And I am fighting a law suit from dell computers.

That's the big stuff.

And I feel like my summary will raise more questions than it answers...

I AM ok. My rant here last summer took place 3 days before my diagnosis of diabetes...I have it under control now, but it definitely was NOT under control when I wrote the August posts.

Forgive me for worrying any of you....I am not the only one with big shit happening....ask me about my customer Cindi, or Shelly, or Kim, or Nancy, or Donna, or Jacob, or Jim, or Darrel, or Jenny..or even Jenny's Mom....then we have the suicide by cop recent event of Mike ....oh and a new priest at church, that's interesting....and my 2 rink kids who were taken away from their mom over Christmas vacation by DPSS......she's hooked on meth...her little daughters eyes are so vacant...Bailey is 6...and she just leans on me...then she's off acting like a normal kid...what IS normal to this child?

But my daughter-in-law and my son don't want me around their kids.

HHmmm....I have 500 or so kids go through my hands weekly...that's 500 parents who DO trust me.

Still it hurts.....and it's hard not to feel hate. And I hate feeling hate.

Yes. I am tired. And I am not making enough time for me.
I did tonight so as not to worry any of you....and now look....it is after 3am here in order to do that.

That's a big part of it all too.

I miss all of the things that were good for my soul.

I got really really sick in 2009....and some of it has left permanent damage.

I lost all those 'good for my soul' things back then....and now in order to put them back in my life, I have to give up sleep....and that's the last thing I should give up right now.

My alarm goes off in 5 hours....

With that....I love and miss you all....

Love, Dani

Dearest,
I didn't want to push you or to rush you or to put pressure on you in any way.
I'm sorry for you having had too little sleep, but, in a strange way, I feel "better" now that I know my alarm lamps didn't go on for "nothing".
It doesn't help you, by no means, and I know that I haven't "heard it all", by far not...
But in that strange way it feels better to know that and know as well what to pray for, instead of knowing that sth. 's definitely wrong and to not have any clue at all about the "what".
You're in my heart, head, 'n prayers,
Kitty

..and lol....I just lost the brakes on my car....

missed the garage wall!

...and the bird in the garage.....

never lose your sense of humour,eh?
Hug you,
Kitty