TC, I have had a look at the synastry between you and your Fish. BTW, you reported his birth longitude as 64w which cannot be correct unless it was a small Atlantic island - I have taken it as 74w. This gives him an Ascendant of around 18 Gemini. You have been obsessing about him because your Pluto trines his Ascendant and his progressed Mars also at 18 Gemini. This is a powerful sexual attraction operating for some time previously and will last perhaps another six months.
Your Suns are quintile which is a friendly aspect but not very reliable. And your Moons are septile which means one of you will always be trying to fool the other in some way - it is not sincere. Your Mars is opposed to his Venus so you actually are more interested in him dominating him as a lover. His North Node is on your Mercury retrograde conjunct your Venus and Neptune so he is drawn to you hoping to find an ideal woman. His Moon is conjunct your Mars in Leo which is a passionate tie though it is rather too wide more of a passing attraction.
So this shows he is by far the more affectionate party in this relationship and you are very inclined to toy with his affections - very common in a Pisces/Scorpio (or in your case Pluto) relationship. To establish a love affair you two need a good crossaspect between your Pluto and his Moon which you have.
But in order to consolidate such a relationship his Mercury retrograde has to make a good aspect to your Sun which are in disassociate sextile suggesting that this relationship will not consolidate properly because he will change his mind when you do not live up to his expectations.
Apart from his progressed Mars now trining your Pluto and Ascendant, what is bringing about your current romantic interest in each other is his Progressed Moon which is now at 2 Leo and opposing his Venus in Aquarius showing he is attracted to an eccentric female. And his progressed Sun in 11 Aries trines your Mars in Leo meaning he is the apple of your eye for the moment. However, I have to point out how unstable Pluto aspects can be in synastry - apart from playing self-sabotaging psychological games Pluto is frequently in denial about its own feelings, always claiming it does not need the one it is most attracted to.
Your progressed Descendant is now conjunct Chiron which produces emotional upheavals and outbursts in close relationships. This influence has been in effect for about 12 months and will contine for a similar period. Chiron gives you the opportunity to reexamine your relationships and put them on a more honest, open basis. This business about your emotional outburst on your 4th date is something you should carefully examine. Most people would consider it is extremely rude to lead a guy on and let him think you are ready for sex only to put him off by an embarassing scene about how you cannot make up your mind. It only demonstrates what a nice guy this fellow really is - some guys would have walked out on you then and there and they would have had every right.
I strongly advise you not to mislead your prospective lover or you will be in for a nasty shock one day. This is part of a stupid and cruel game that Pluto dominated people play with Pisces and it is extremely immature and disrespectful behaviour. If you feel you have a problem in a relationship, have the courage to raise the problem and talk it out. Remember that your problems are your own and you are the one who has to straighten out what you want in a relationship and out of life. And if you do not know your own mind, you should be entirely on your own until you have a clear perspective. A Capricorn Sun is always wasting their time until they have formulated some goals in life and started working towards them - when the Sun is working right the life straightens out.
Your Progressed Moon currently at 27 Aries sextiles his Mercury ruling his romantic 5th house and his Saturn ruling his sexual 8th house and so the affair got underway in March but at the same time opposes his natal retrograde Uranus ruling his 10th house so you are running a great risk of having him terminate this affair.
If you can get it together, this relationship might last another 6 months. Pisces men are known for their sympathetic capacity and he can be very considerate and helpful to you because his Uranus is in excellent aspect to your Venus. He can offer you some valuable guidance and affectionate support - I advise you while he is prepared to do so not to abuse this priviledge!
Now it is my turn to apologise for taking so long to answer your original question a few weeks ago. As you've exercised great Capricornian patience, I will answer it in length.
So you do not think you are a Capricorn? Well, since your Mercury and Venus are not in Capricorn but rather Sagittarius you are not stereotypical of the sign being more of a chameleon as mutable Sagittarius is much influenced by the companions it chooses. But struggling to resolve the discrepancies in your personality is a Capricornian type thing. Capricorns need to understand how something works before they can accept it but having critical minds they are quick to notice discrepancies and if they cannot account for them it drives them nuts. I so admire Capricorns for that trait - it is the real spirit of science.
How are we to describe ourselves? In psychology this has been a great source of debate for many years. In philosophy it has been an argument even older than the ancient Greeks. Are we more fundamentally the same or are we more fundamentally different from each other? Thus the questions arise - in what ways are we similar and in what ways are we different? Popularly our common needs, especially obvious when we are younger, establish our similarities but generally we are more interested in what explains our differences, which become more apparent as we get older. Every culture has established typologies (usually very simple and limited) - some based on bodily type (mesomorph, ectomorph, endomorph) while others are based on temperament such as Eysenck's introvert/extrovert. And each typology implies a set of strengths and weaknesses which makes us inherently at least more suitable for some activities than others.
But does assigning a type (stereotyping) fully explain us as individuals? And the answer to that is a clear No! Every typology known (and there are dozens) only describes us in part. Yet nearly all agree that the use of types is the only satisfactory method of personality description as well as personality assessment (which implies complex comparisons with other types).
So how do we resolve this problem? We must have a workable model of personality structure first with an understanding of how each personality function within that model operates (its dynamics), and then we type where possible each function. This gives a complex set of personality interactions which more fully describe the personality. This might be considered a more professional approach to the problem but it is confusing to the general public who are not fully conversant with all these typology systems, the overall model used and its dynamics.
And we do the same thing in psychological astrology!
So, it is necessary to understand that all typology systems are merely relative without the knowledge of how the personality works as a system. Astrologers choose to use the Sun and the sign that it occupies at birth because the Sun is the most powerful body in the heavens and so its influence is easily detected in most cases (there are exceptions). It is also the most regular of the heavenly bodies in its cycle and the basis for the current calendar in use throughout the world so, except at the sign cusps, you can easily pick your sign.
But in popularising astrology using the Sun sign, people with a more critical mind but who are not so knowledgeable about astrology may get disillusioned with it when it does not account for all their attitudes and behaviours. It was never intended to - Sun sign is only a general guide.
Sun sign astrology is a very useful introduction to astrology because of the great power the Sun exercises in a natal chart. It is the centre of consciousness in man, that sense of being behind the ego in psychology and also known as the atmakharana in Theosophy. The natal Sun shows our drives and motives, how and what we strive for success in the world and also how we conduct or manage our relationships (making it very useful in simple synastry work such as Linda's Love Signs). It is less obvious but true that the Sun is what we are striving to become so it is part of our natural development for the Sun sign qualities to become stronger as we grow older being part of the individuation process that Jung identified. The power to assert yourself as an individual emanates from the Sun. But remember that as a woman the Sun is also the man in your life - when you are younger it probably reflects your father but later in life it may represent your husband.
Bet you never thought the Sun was so complicated, did you! But it is because of this flexibility that it is so useful as the basis of sign astrology.
But because we are very complex beings, astrology can not remain so simple as this and astrology helps map some of our dynamics. Humans have been commonly identified throughout the literature of the world for centuries as having four levels of self - physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Speaking very broadly, the Sun represents the spirit or Self (that sense of being in us), the Moon is your emotional self, the Ascendant shows your physical or bodily self, and the Ascendant ruler shows your mental self (which is the ego or the sense of "I" in psychology).
In other words, the Sun does not always express itself directly but has to filter through the various levels of self. When you are not consciously making a choice or making a real effort (the Sun), you are drawn to some people or some subjects or some activities because of a natural affinity and interest and this is shown by the Moon sign. So the Moon shows your natural preferences and reveals your habits (what you are normally preoccupied with and your largely unconscious reactionary behaviour) and what and where you feel most comfortable. Just as the Sun is future oriented, so the Moon is past oriented and what we learnt in our past, shown sometimes as our childish behaviour. In a woman the Moon also represents how she behaves as a woman when mixing with the opposite sex or how she behaves as a mother or a wife. But in a man's chart particularly if he is not in tune with his own emotions the Moon represents the woman in his life - in his earlier life it is his mother most likely and later it is probably his wife.
The Ascendant sign indicates how you view yourself in relation to the world that you must interact with as well as the expectations imposed on you by others who generally only judge you by your outward social behaviour and your appearance. It is also your preferred approach to problem-solving and how you cope with life generally can be assessed from this point. Your bodily health is also shown here in particular the amount of vitality you have available to you.
Astrology does not discount social and other influences on the shaping of our behaviour and attitudes. Man is essentially a social creature and the reason why it takes about 20 years to raise us to adult state is the need to integrate conflicting social roles and expectations. And what is it in us that does the integrating of our past tendencies and our future aims?
When you are giving consideration or deliberation to an issue or some matter or strategising your next move, this is shown by the planet ruling the Ascendant as well as the sign it occupies. Your self-esteem is estimated here because this planet shows the ego as defined in psychology. In fact this is the real you, the present self, what you most identify with as yourself. It shows what your priorities are in life and what is personally most important to you. It is what you most enjoy when relating to other people. And this planet shows how you resolve any conflicts in your personality.
So you can see that by the use of these four influences (called personal significators) alone and their various interactions we can type and characterise any person very exactly.
With your Sun is in Capricorn this relates to your motives and drives, you are basically a practical, down to earth person and you most want to shine in your social circle, you want to be a somebody, someone with status or authority. Until you achieve that goal you live with a certain sense of frustration and the uncertainty that you may never measure up. Capricorns fear failure more than anything else. You will never get your life into order until you set and pursue goals in your life for the Goat is the most goal-oriented of all the signs. And their happiness rests in the scaling of mountain peaks and the harder the climb the more pleased they end up being with themselves for it is the sign of the self-made man. Capricorns prefer a business like, matter of fact approach in most areas of their lives but do not think that Sun in Capricorn lacks sentiment which they generally bury beneath a crusty exterior.
But with the Moon in Cancer and the Ascendant in Libra this types you more specifically. The Moon in Cancer makes you quite an emotional and sensitive person who loves home and domesticity but because it is elevated you seek to be popular with people generally. Libra rising indicates one who is very other-oriented, you care very much what other people think of you and you really want to please them and have people think well of you.
In fact this combination of the Moon and the Ascendant makes you a bit of sponge when it comes to mixing with people and you may have trouble at times sorting out your own views and opinions from the expectations and attitudes of others that are close to you, particularly your parents and family members. You are basically sociable, outgoing and congenial but hypersensitive about what other people think of you and the fear of getting hurt means that you erect barriers to reduce your vulnerability. When you get over-protective of yourself you easily succumb to shyness, self-consciousness and somewhat morbid introspection. You long to be needed and are very romantically inclined even in the old fashioned sense of being very sentimental. In romance you tend to exaggerate the better characteristics of your lovers and overlook the less attractive traits so you will need to be more realistic in this area.
While it is true that Capricorn is very guarded about their emotions and sentiments and sometimes appear cold and austere to others, this actually very much depends on your Moon. In your case the Moon is the highest planet in your chart and the Sun is the lowest, therefore instead of hiding your emotions which would be your normal preference, you tend to wear them on your sleeve at times and you let them dominate you - indeed, your feelings have a tendency to run away from you at times.
So, the fact that you were born at the Full Moon AND that it is the most elevated influence in the chart means that the Moon sign dominates your inner life and not the Sun sign. You also put great importance on relationships and it is here that you will have most of your problems, in particular, separations from friends and family. As the opposition of your Sun and Moon are in the 3rd and 9th houses respectively, then you are inclined to be in two minds about things and in conflict as which way to proceed on most matters, leaving you dithering with half-hearted efforts and involvements.
It is also common that people born at the time of the Full Moon will have to make an important, lifestyle changing decision usually around the age of 30. But in the second half of your life you will become develop more Capricornian traits, in particular, an ambition of some sort and you will probably seek to become more accomplished and cultured.
Your Ascendant is your adapting mechanism throughout life. As you grow older you normally learn to use the better principles shown by the sign on the Ascendant to guide your actions. It is your preferred way of problem solving. But in our youth (up to about 28) we tend to be distracted by the people and matters represented by the sign on the Ascendant. With Libra here you will tend to experiment and explore partnerships, intimate relationships and probably public relations and business dealing with the public.
But a planet in a house acts first before the sign of the house - though the sign is a longer-term effect. And this is the root of your current problems. With Pluto here in your 1st house you do not show the Libran concern for others right away, you act out your Pluto impulse to be remote and somewhat taciturn with strangers (Pluto with North Node is inclined to be rather exclusive and puts on an exterior of disdain even snobbery) and do what you want to do. Pluto in the 1st house appears to be aloof and superior to others even disdainful though in fact they may in fact be a churning, anxious mess inside. Pluto rising admittedly is looking for getting the upper hand in any encounter and out to master any situation to your advantage - hence this "selfishness" you refer to. And it is in direct contrast to the Libran impulse to share and give the benefit of the doubt. So Pluto here is the selfish impulse that you first experience and later your Libran Ascendant you reconsider your actions and try to be more considerate.
A planet in the 1st house often acts like a shield and the closer it is to the Ascendant the more the person is inclined to present to the world a false face (called a persona in Jungian psychology) to hide its true intentions. In your case Pluto is quite overpowering and will never admit how it really feels - the more intense your emotions the more Pluto straight out denies them, not only to others but to yourself. The Libran Ascendant loves people and people matching but Pluto perversely takes the completely opposite tact and says it hates people and distances itself from them. Instead of sharing sincerely with someone, you try to manipulate them and get the upper hand so you can dominate or mislead them. This is your way with dealing with your emotional sensitivity by refusing to allow yourself to become vulnerable - and it does not work! Instead of being an asset, the Cancer Moon remains undeveloped at the infant level and cannot control or balance your emotions, letting them overwhelm you. While you let Pluto run your life by following its underhanded approach, you will be a stranger to yourself and others for Pluto will never allow you intimacy with others or peace of mind in yourself.
The real function of a rising planet is to provide a means to the end sought by the rising sign. Properly utilised, your rising Pluto in Libra should be the iron butterfly - someone who can relate to other people at their level and draw them out but remains calm, balanced, emotionally detached, and with a strategic understanding of the strengths and weaknesses of all the viewpoints on any issue. Just like a politician (no insult intended!) who listens to all sides and encourages debate but knows which path must be followed to satisfy the majority.
Otherwise, Pluto, which too often goes to extremes, throws your Libran Ascendant off balance. So to succeed in life you must take the Libran approach in all matters - learn to compromise with people by meeting them halfway, refrain from imposing extreme points of view or demands but try to find a happy medium, keep your equanamity and never let your heart rule your head (except perhaps in recreational moments) and work hard to see both sides of any matter or argument and so come to a balanced decision. Be just to everyone you deal with and give them the benefit of the doubt, even if it means taking a slight risk. A positive-sign Ascendant like Libra should be an active mixer in social situations. People are hoping you will be the one to break the ice providing you restrain your rising Pluto from imposing a particular viewpoint. Everyone you deal with deserves a smile and sharing common pleasantries, not just an exclusive few. Try not to monopolise one particular person's attention but try to divide your attention equally - spread yourself around and this will gives others some necessary breathing space.
Venus, your Ascendant ruler in Sagittarius in the 3rd house and conjunct retrograde Mercury shows that as a person you are basically a philosopher who loves poetry. Cadent and mutable by house and sign, you have a strong tendency to fritter your life away on trivialities and minor distractions. This combination takes no responsibility in their relationships but are constantly busy with things that do not really matter and distract themselves with endless chatter about nothing of any consequence. In Sagittarius you long for your personal freedom but do not know what to do with it when you get it. Life becomes a series of "if only's" and wishful thinking and you are always ending up in situations that you never planned or intended because of carelessness and neglect.
You aim low so you never achieve anything worthwhile. With a retrograde Mercury here, you have no qualifications or they are incomplete and conjunct your Sun you are always taking the easy way out by seeking excuses. If you want to move into managerial jobs or have others give you credit for what you can do, you need to support your claims with a qualification. So sit down and list what you want out of life in the next 10 years, where you want to be and what differences you want to see in yourself. This is called goal-setting. Then work out how you are to achieve each one of these goals - this is called strategic management. Get professional advice on how each might be achieved like vocational guidance, money management, etc. Then work out a timetable - this is scheduling. You will find spending time on these activities will be far more worthwhile than the many distractions you are frittering your energy away on now.
To be well-adjusted, you have to know your strengths and weaknesses, be able to deal with external threats and able to take advantage of opportunities for growth or advancement. Very generally, your strengths are shown by the Sun, your weaknesses by your Moon, the ability to interact with your environment competently and dealing with external threats is shown by the Ascendant, and your ability to create opportunities in your life is shown by your Ascendant ruler.
So once you understand your basic psychology, you can start to learn to make peace with yourself and the world.
Remember that it is the Ascendant ruler, your Venus in Sagittarius that can learn to use its cleverness to resolve internal conflicting impulses. So instead of letting the house position of Venus dominate you, use the sign influence first. Venus in Sagittarius, when negatively inclined, is given to many love interests and always intending to be loyal. You are always falling in love with things and people that are unobtainable for some reason and becoming attached to people who actually have little regard for you. Until you learn to always take the broader perspective, keep an open mind and especially find out the reason why behind everything, your life is in danger of revolving in a rut. Socalise in a wide circle of friends, particularly those of a different race, country or creed, and spend time meeting strangers and making them feel comfortable. Since you enjoy poetry, pursue it and learn a foreign language while you are at it. If you want to work in the business world you will particularly need to study commercial law in a business course. You can excel when you pursue a knowledge of foreign cultures, their arts and handicrafts. Develop your interests in foreign countries and different cultures, different religions and philosophies and how they compare and you will develop as a more balanced and interesting person.
You can better manage any life only if you are willing to rise above childish attitudes. It is the myth of modern civilisation that happiness as the secret to life, the universe and everything, exists "out there". Even children understand that happiness is a state of being which logically cannot be found outside of yourself. When your psyche is working in a balanced fashion it generates a harmony which is happiness. Otherwise, people who cannot accept themselves or others as they are always have their psychological functions distorted and out of balance and compensate with neurotic defence mechanisms.
But the psyche has its own natural repair cycle which rests on self-acceptance and tolerance. If it can be stimulated, then the life straightens out and happiness is restored - Eastern philosophy holds many valuable psychological keys. There are no magical solutions but following these steps will enrich your lifestyle: -
1. Goal setting with the sign activities of the Sun giving a purpose in life
2. Enrich your life by the sign activities of the Ascendant ruler
3. Treating others better by behaving according to the positive features of the sign on the Ascendant
4. Relaxation activities based on the Moon sign and its aspects
5. Dedication to particular hobby is shown by a 1st house occupant
So let astrology be your guide.