by Jennifer Houle

As 2002 drew to a close, I came down with the first serious cold I have had in years. My entire body ached, my head throbbed and I had to breathe through my mouth. At night, I couldn’t sleep, because every time I began to drift off, I would be jolted awake by a coughing fit. Christmas was approaching, and there were a thousand and one errands I wanted to run. But one day I just gave in to my body’s demand for rest, popped some garlic, some echinacea, drank a Neo-Citran and took to the couch.

This movie, Jack Frost, came on, starring Michael Keaton as a father who dies in a car accident and returns, temporarily incarnated as a snowman, in order to offer his troubled son guidance. I’m not sure if it was the medication, the formulaic heart-wrenching plot, or the soundtrack, but I found myself sobbing most of the way through the film. That snowman was going to melt soon enough, and this little boy was going to have to go on with his life without his father there to help him. All he would have was the memory, and the courage, love and wisdom imparted to him by his father before he melted.

Pretty unrealistic, I know, but there were some ancient themes in this movie, no matter how modernized they were. One of the songs on the soundtrack was Stevie Nicks’ Landslide, a song that has recently been covered by the Dixie Chicks. A song that I seemed to hear playing everywhere as 2002 drew to a close. At the point in the song where the lyrics say: “Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’, cause I built my life around you,” a lump almost invariably forms in my throat. Nothing on Earth perhaps creates more fear, more division, and more psychological paralysis than the idea of change.

As I lay on the couch, my body going through a few changes of its own as it contended with the cold virus I had picked up, I continued to watch television, falling in and out of consciousness. I’m not sure if I heard a television announcer say the following words, or if I dreamt them up myself - but one thing is certain, while I lay there, I dreamt of a flashing number 5, and heard “2003 will most certainly be a year of changes.” My consciousness seemed to seize on these words as having great import. I found myself considering them over and over again during the holiday season, and was very mindful of them as the year changed.

In numerology, the number 5 is often considered the number of change. The year 2003 reduces to a 5, and so it seems appropriate to consider the implications of what it might mean to be in a 5 year. In divination and tarot, the number 5 is not only associated with change, but rather often, with strife, chaos and misfortune. The 5 of Cups is the card of Disappointed Hopes, the 5 of Wands represents Chaos and Strife, the 5 of Swords is Despair, and the 5 of Pentacles often represents Destitution. I began to wonder - what is it exactly about the number 5 that is associated with such negativity and fear? Could it perhaps be because of its association with change?

The fifth card of the Higher Arcana in the Tarot is the Hierophant, a stern character who most typically represents “Mastery” or “The Teacher.” When we think of a Master, we usually think of someone who has mastered the five physical senses and thus achieved a state of great wisdom and balance in the physical world. However, in order for this mastery to be gained, great sacrifice is required. This may be the card we pull when it is time to embark on some sort of strict regimen, such as a diet or a health plan - when it is time to give up cigarettes or sugar, a toxic relationship or even a long-standing grudge. The 5 might also be the number of discipline.

In traditional numerology, 4 is the number of completion. The 4 sides of the square, for example, represent stability. Then along comes 5 to mess with that. It has always been interesting to me that in Chaldean numerology as explained by Linda Goodman in her “Star Signs,” the number 4 is said to vibrate to Uranus, and is an almost electric number. How can this be? How can 4 in one system be so stable, and in another be so wild and full of surprises? It’s an interesting question, and one which I have meditated on many a time. Perhaps 4 represents the completion of a dream - however, sometimes our dreams contain elements we’ve never even suspected - elements that shock us.

Maybe this is one way to consider the number 4. It is shocking because it will CHANGE. As stable as it seems, that stability is just the set-up for the next growth process. Karl Marx believed that as societies develop, they inherently create the circumstances that will allow the next wave of change to emerge. For example, he believed the capitalist system inherently, although inadvertently, created exactly the circumstances necessary for an uprising of the proletariat, or the working class, to occur. Had the system not developed exactly as it had, the ground would not have been laid for a new type of class to rise up.

While Marx’s ideas have always been up for dispute, I believe I see the answer to the 4 conundrum emerging. Once stability has been reached it cannot remain forever stable, else stagnation will result. Time marches on - in order for evolution to occur, change must occur. CHANGE, even though things may seem to be working pretty well just as they are. And so, along comes the 5, associated with the planet Mercury, the Messenger. Suddenly people begin talking, new ideas begin to emerge and be communicated, questioning the status quo. Discontent is in the air. Change looms large. No wonder 5 has always been associated with hard times!

Well, as we evolve, sometimes our notions and our ways of defining things have to change as well. Perhaps it is time to begin regarding change as a gift instead of a threat, and to do this not only in terms of global trends, but also, and perhaps most especially, when it is personal. Ah yes, that is another thing that the Chaldean numerology claims about the 4: it often predicts great changes for humanity but remains stubbornly fixed when it comes to its own personal habits. And did the year 2002 not exemplify this? Did people not suddenly show a markedly increased sense of interest in the state of world affairs in the aftermath of 9/11? Did people not suddenly see the problems in society with sharper and clearer eyes? Did we all not begin making little predictions about what was going to happen next? Was everybody not hyper-alert in 2002?

Yes, but how many people applied this sense of changing values to their own lives? In effect, did many people not end up burrowing deeper and deeper into their old habits and lives, clinging ever more tenaciously to some sense of personal security? Somehow, the energies of 2002 did not seem to demand that real, conscious changes be made. Rather, what seemed to prevail was this notion of watching as the old fell apart, without truly finding a new way to live, or to take on any real new disciplines. “Goodness,” many of us thought, “with the world in such a state as this, surely this is not the time for me to be making any big decisions or changes in my life. Everything is so uncertain. How am I supposed to know what kind of values will work in the future?” And so, perhaps, many of us remained stuck - and maybe this is as it should have been in 2002. A year to reconsider the old and to truly pinpoint whatever it was that was no longer working.

And now it is 2003. If the number 5 has anything to say about it, it will be time to truly begin implementing those changes. So, it seems to me that this year, we may experience many “landslides” that will usher in change, one way or another. We really cannot afford to be afraid of changing anymore. We cannot be afraid to question our own status quos anymore. This year should have the feel of Mercury - it should be charged with messages, with ideas, with new facts and new trends. Some of these will undoubtedly create that famous 5 conflict. We may see ideologies at war with one another like never before. And we may have to finally get off the fence and choose to implement real change.

Mercury was not merely the Messenger god - in some myths, appearing as Hermes, he is also depicted as a Guide. He was the one to lead souls into the Underworld, as well as a guide to lost travelers. It is true that in the midst of changes we might lose our sense of direction. We have to trust that guidance will appear. We will not remain lost. Synchronicities will occur allowing us to move forward from wherever it is we may have gotten lost. Change does mean loss; we mustn’t kid ourselves. Some of us want change without loss. I remember being small, and wishing, wishing, wishing that we could move to a new town, because I was being bullied at school, but wishing also that we could bring our house with us, as well as the friends that stood by me even when the bullies came on. I wanted the social realm I had to contend with to change, but I did not want anything in my inner world to change in the process.

Ah, and isn’t that just such a childlike wish? Most definitely, but I would be willing to wager that many of us still use the fact that our personal lives would have to change in order to opt out of beginning to live our lives in ways that accord with the new ideologies beginning to emerge. Our very comfort is at stake, after all. The economic system in which we live, for one thing, seems to make our options very narrow. We know, for example, that renewable sources of energy do exist, but how are we supposed to get off the old energy grid? It’s so expensive. How can we change when the world won’t? We can begin by consciously intending to change, to prepare ourselves for it, and to remain alert for synchronicities that will help us to move forward with it.

One thing Mercury does is bring word. The information we need will undoubtedly arrive. We just have to act on it.

Aside from all of this, there are many other interesting factors to consider when it comes to the number 5. In astrology, there is an aspect known as the quintile, which is 72 degrees, and based on division of the 360-degree circle by 5. Very little is known about how to interpret this aspect. Most astrologers just say it represents some kind of special knowledge or gift that the person who has the quintile possesses. They say it is a minor aspect. They say it doesn’t have very much influence. You almost never see it in a synastry analysis or an event chart. Actually, you almost never see it, period. There has been very little work or research done with quintiles. But if all that we know about the number 5 is true, then it seems to me that this is an astrological aspect of renewed import in our lives. It may be a way to help us identify the inherent gifts we have been born with, a way to see how we develop these gifts. It may be a clue as to where we will experience extreme dissatisfaction in our lives to the point where, finally, we just have to CHANGE something. This aspect may have more to do with evolution than any other!

I’ve always been intrigued with this aspect, partially because I have a few in my chart. My natal Venus and Mercury are quintile to Pluto and my Ascendant. My natal Vesta is quintile to Saturn and my natal Sun is bi-quintile to my Mars. I’ll admit I have yet to be certain how to analyze or consider these aspects in any systematic way. My intuition tells me there is a great secret there, a mystery. Part of me believes I was given these aspects solely to push me to further question the magic and the meaning of the number 5.

When I was very little, I used to scribble pentagrams all over my notebooks. I had no idea that they symbolized anything at all. To me they were just stars and I loved scribbling them. I would literally cover pages and pages with them during class time - not in an obsessive-compulsive way, but almost unconsciously. One day, a teacher scolded me for drawing them and told me it wasn’t funny to be drawing the sign of the devil all over my books. The sign of the devil? It was then that I learned that the pentagram was associated with paganism, black magic and of course, Satanism. I stopped drawing them.

When I grew older and came to learn about Goddess traditions and Wicca, I realized that the pentagram was actually a symbol of great magic, a symbol representing one’s connection to the Goddess, to the seasons, to the divine. In no way was it associated with evil or Satan worship. Somehow, the patriarchy twisted this symbol as well. Interestingly, this five-pointed star shape was originally associated with the shape that you see if you cut an apple in half. An apple core, cut in two, creates a five-pointed star. The mystery deepened for me, here, since of course, no matter what our religious upbringing, we are all probably aware of what happened when a certain someone took a bite of an apple way back when. The downfall of mankind! Knowledge! Oh no!

To me, this connection suggests that the number 5 is intimately concerned with knowledge and information. When we gain new knowledge, it often means that we have to change our way of looking at the world. Our perceptions have to expand. We can never go back to that blissful state of ignorance, because we are aware. To remain stuck with new knowledge creates true psychological discomfort. To continue doing something when you suddenly know better is very uncomfortable. Change begs to be allowed in. And what happens if we don’t do something to create this change? Well, there’s an old idea about pebbles, stones and landslides. First a pebble hits you on the head - ouch, but no big deal. Nothing has to happen. Then a fair-sized stone gets thrown through your window, indicating: “Umm, you really should change this situation.” But still, it’s just a stone, a mess to clean up, but nothing huge. Ah, but what comes next? The landslide. And then you have to go about creating those changes from underneath a pile of rubble.

2003 seems to be a year in which to heed the pebbles that are thrown at us and follow our guidance. This is a number 5 year, and hence we may find ourselves awash amongst the changes, inundated with new information, and wishing, wishing, wishing we could take our houses or our old lives with us. A friend of mine used to say, “I just wish I could move all the people and things I love to the center of the universe and stay there forever.” Well, no. Not in 2003. It is time to consciously create those changes we’ve been feeling coming for so long. Fear is the glue that binds us to the past. The 5 will dissolve that glue and we will be free.

One last thing about the 5. I'm not great when it comes to mathematical formulae, but the number 5 is the main integer used to calculate the mysterious number known as Phi, which is called the Golden Mean. One of the easiest ways to calculate Phi is:

• Phi = 5^.5 * .5 + .5 (Read that: 5 to the .5 power times .5 plus .5, approximately 1.618.)

Phi is the mathematical constant that perfectly describes the growth of all living things, from the spiral chambers of a seashell to the ratios of the bones in the human body. Everything living is somehow composed of spirals - including our very DNA spirals that have the exact proportions of the Golden Mean. Look at your fingerprints - they spiral. Each spiral is unique, but one thing the presence of spirals will always indicate is LIFE. And you just can't get there without the number 5.

I do believe it is safe to say that 2003 is going to be a year of immense changes. May we be conscious in creating what occurs. May we welcome the changes and move forward without fear. This year will most certainly be messy, but out of chaos emerges order, and the cycle continues, spiraling upon itself, almost as if by magic.